


one last night on this earth (can you teach me how the heart works?)

by dingletragedy



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Meetings, M/M, Online Dating, Skype, aaron is hopeless, lots and lots of fluff and then some smut yikes, robert thinks he's cool, the tinder fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-01-13 11:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18467605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dingletragedy/pseuds/dingletragedy
Summary: The thing is, Robert is bloody gorgeous and Aaron is, well, he’s Aaron. With one final overview of Robert's face, Aaron sighs loudly and locks his phone, leaving Robert’s profile just sitting there, waiting for someone else to take the chance Aaron just threw away.Or, the tinder au





	1. twenty first century blues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anythingbutplatonic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anythingbutplatonic/gifts).



> this stemmed from a headcanon prompt from @robertssvgden on tumblr. so you can blame her for this mess 
> 
> title from one last night on this earth - sundara karma 
> 
> i think this'll be a two or three chapter fic but anything could happen really
> 
> enjoy!

London is one of Aaron’s favourite cities in the world. He’s so used to the stillness of village life that the buzz of the city makes him feel alive. Alive and brand new. There’s possibilities hidden down every street, hope in every bright light, and anticipation thrumming up every unimaginable skyscraper. It’s just a shame he’s not the one who’s made a life for himself down here, no, Adam has.

Truth be told he couldn’t be happier for Adam, but he can’t help the envy that flows through his veins. Aaron is stuck in Emmerdale still, the same routine day in day out. Work, eat, sleep. It’s not as if anyone is stopping him from following in Adam’s footsteps, well, anyone but himself. It’s just that he’s finally settled in Emmerdale, _finally_ , after so many long years of feeling lost in his own body, he’s found a home. A home in his body, his mind, the village.

So of course he takes any and every opportunity to escape down the bustling city for a week. And Adam is more than happy to put him up, even goes as far as paying for his train tickets on occasions, desperate to see his best mate. Neither anticipated quite how painful the distance would be. Aaron now understands why people say losing your best friends is like losing a limb.

The thing is though, even spending the week with Adam can’t stop the gnawing feeling of loneliness eating him up, especially not when Adam ditches him for a date on the _*first fucking night*_. He’d matched with her on Tinder apparently, which Aaron scoffs at, because do people really still use that app? Her names Amelia, and that’s about all Adam knows about her considering they’ve only been talking for twenty-four bloody hours.

That feeling of envy is back again. Aaron can only wish he was as carefree and confident as Adam.

The hours tick by and Aaron betrays himself, somehow in the midst of feeling sorry for himself, he redownloads the Tinder app. Aaron’s had tinder for a lifetime but his profile hasn’t been updated since he was 20, he’s not exactly arsed about online dating, he reckons it’s overhyped and underwhelming. He finds himself scrolling through Tinder once a year, at most, when he’s exceptionally bored or having a dry spell in the sex department. Nothing has ever come of the swiping though.

The app alerts Aaron the second it’s finished downloading and curiosity gets the better of him.

He reviews his own profile first, and he instantly regrets his decision of entertaining his loneliness. It’s awful. Maybe this is why his previous success in online dating has been slim to none. He’s got two pictures up: the first is a silly photo of him and Adam, tongues poking out and shit-eating grins on their faces. The second is a picture his Mum had demanded she took of him after his first shift at the garage, his overalls are covered in grease and his own sweat has matted his hair to his forehead. Attractive, Aaron thinks. His bio reads a simple ’ _Not after anything serious’_ and he cringes against it.

He doesn’t know what he’s after really, but with a bio like that he’s practically asking for unwanted dick pics. So he changes it.

 

_Aaron, 22, Yorkshire. Mechanic. Trying this thing out again._

 

He’s happy to keep the simplicity of it without sounding like a creep.

Adam is pottering around in the kitchen, making himself (and Aaron) a predate dinner, when he stops and leans over Aaron’s shoulder. And Aaron curses himself for not being more secretive about his swiping, because suddenly Adam is acting like a small child on Christmas Day.

“Yes mate!” Adam exasperates when he notices the not-so-subtle app illuminating Aaron’s phone screen. “It’s about time you got yourself back on the dating scene.”

Aaron blows an unimpressed breath of air between his lips. But okay, Adam is probably right, only Aaron isn’t going to tell him that.

“You can’t swipe left on everyone,” Adam laments. “He was cute.”

“Nope.” Aaron flicks his finger again.

It's almost automatic. See a picture, swipe left, see the next picture, left again.

“Oh come _on!_  He’s cute, too!”

“And what would you know about it?” Aaron questions with a raise of his brows.

“I might not be gay, Aaron, but I do have a pair of perfectly good eyes.”

Fair point, Aaron thinks.

Adam rolls his eyes at him yet again. “C’mon, there’s gotta be someone here that’ll fit your exacting standards. Oh - what about him!”

“If you fancy them so much then maybe you need to start accepting that Ads.”

And he gets a punch on the arm for that.

With one final swipe left Aaron closes the app and Adam’s straight in his ear. “Oh come on mate, just give it a chance. Ya never know, you might just meet the love of your life.”

And so Aaron opens the app back up, to shut Adam up more than anything. He watches on as it refreshes itself, finding a new bunch of _not-quite-right-men_ for Aaron to judge.

And then, the next profile comes up.

“Wow” he hears Adam blow out, frowning down at Aaron’s phone, “He looks like a bloody model”.

The photo staring up at them isn’t one Aaron expected to see on a site like this. It’s too sophisticated, too perfect, too gorgeous. Admittedly, this guy did have a really nice face. Aaron would have to be blind not to see that. If that's all they were going by, then he was definitely a winner.

He enlarges the profile, curiosity getting the better of him. Luckily the oven timer steals Adam’s attention back to the job at hand and Aaron is free to browse without judgement.

 _Robert, 24._ It reads.

He’s a business manager or something fancy like that and he’s not at all Aaron’s usual type, but when he comes to think of it, what even is Aaron’s usual type? He curiously reads on.

 

_Travelling between home and the big city._

_Proud owner of an Audi R8._

_Looking for someone to keep up with the demands of my non-existent social life._

_I’m on Tinder because I’m Solo, what’s your excuse?_

 

And honestly, that last bit goes straight over Aaron’s head.

He’s got four photos, dressed impressively in all except one, where he’s in his sweats and has a younger girl laughing at his side. That’s Aaron’s favourite. It looks like somebody's home, if the furniture in the background of the shot is anything to go by. It's taken from Robert's front as he leans against a wall, though he's in the middle of talking or laughing, his mouth open in a smile as he focuses on someone off camera to the side. He's got a can of cider in one hand, the other tucked into the pocket of his jeans. Casual yet jaw-dropping.

And yeah, for once Adam was right, he does look like a bloody model. A _too-good-to-be-true_ model.

“Just swipe right will ya.” He hears Adam pipe up, and of course Aaron acts as if he has no idea what Adam’s talking about.

“Mate I’ve seen ya staring at his face for the last ten minutes. Just go for it”

“What’s the point anyway? He’d probably just be another nobody. Another one to add to the ever-growing list of nobodies.” Aaron falters.  
  
“Or, he could be the one”   
  
“I won’t meet the love of my life through a screen, Adam.”   
  
“And you won’t meet them cooped up in here all day either.”   
  
And, again, he has a point, but Robert is bloody gorgeous and Aaron is, well he’s Aaron. With one final look, Aaron sighs loudly and locks his phone, leaving Robert’s profile just sitting there, waiting for someone else to take the chance Aaron just threw away.

  
  


 

\---

 

 

 

Robert is 24. Which doesn’t mean he has his shit together, because he doesn’t. But what he does have is a degree, and a more than successful job. And although technically he’s been an adult for six years, his downfall comes in the shape of dating. He's had relationships before, plenty, boys and girls, but never one that’s lasted longer than a year. Some may say commitment and Robert Sugden just aren’t compatible.

Except he’s got an invitation through the door this morning, another university friend is getting married and Robert really wishes he was at that stage of his life. He doesn’t mind being on his own for the most part, and it’s not as if he’s short of one night stands, but there’s something about the loneliness that digs at him, sometimes. The thought that maybe it’s too late for him, maybe he missed his chance somewhere along the way. There’s a party he should have gone to, or a train he should have missed. There’s someone he should have met by now, right?

He shakes his head of the thoughts but still finds himself scrolling through Tinder later that day, determined not to put his phone down till he’s fired off at least one message.

After an excruciating half an hour his thumb is throbbing in pain, but then gets to the profile of a man named Aaron, who is currently a few kilometres away, and he purses his lips. Because the guy’s picture has two attractive men on it, but one of them sparks Robert’s interest a lot more than the other. He looks young, but his profile also looks very outdated and Robert laughs against it, because it’s obvious this guy sucks at online dating. It really shouldn’t be so endearing. Robert gets plenty of attention online, but he wouldn’t exactly say he’s a dab hand at Tinder. A couple of one night stands and a few terrible dates isn’t anything to show off about.

Luckily the boy, Aaron, has another photo. And fuck, he’s wearing overalls. Robert claims he doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but he’s definitely feeling *something* at first sight.

As if by some miracle, Aaron has his Instagram linked to his account and although it’s is about as bare as his Tinder, it gives Robert the chance to do a spot of obsessive stalking. And even after thoroughly looking through all of Aaron’s 7 photos, he still can’t pinpoint what it is about the younger boy that’s making butterflies dance in Robert’s stomach. 

At first, Robert thinks about swiping left because Aaron is, objectively, very hot. Maybe too hot. And Robert’s not sure he can handle the rejection. But then he reminds himself who the fuck he is and swipes right.

 _It’s a match!_ the app announces, and Robert wants to immediately fire off a message to Aaron.

So he does.

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

Aaron should know better by now than to leave his phone unattended in Adam’s company. If he doesn’t return to a camera roll full of ridiculous selfies, then he returns to a new match and message on Tinder.

Considering Aaron hadn’t swiped right on any of the 5o or so suspects he got through, and Adam is looking rather sheepish, it’s pretty obvious what’s gone on here. He gives Adam an earful, makes sure he knows exactly how pissed off Aaron is but stop abruptly when he unlocks the notification.

  
_It’s a match, Robert likes you too. Getting chatting!_

  
Aaron clicks on the message with a thudding heart and sweaty palms - _Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else._  - it reads. And can barely stop the laugh from escaping his lips.

Adam spots the bashful smile that Aaron is sure must be covering his face, “So, what did he say?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business, do you? Anyway, haven’t you got a date waiting for you. You know you can only be fashionably late a number of times, Adam.”

And then he as much as pushes Adam out of the door, as if he’s shipping his moody teenager off to school. Once alone, Aaron has the time to think of a reply for Robert.

Aaron wasn’t one in favour of online relationships. He thought the whole process was awkward and unsafe. You never knew exactly who you were talking to online – they could be someone old and gross rather than what they proclaim to be. But he figured there was no harm in chatting to Robert, it’s not as if he was ever going to meet him.

_Aaron: That sure is a shit pick up line for someone who claims to own an Audi R8._

_Robert: Hey that’s one of my best! And not one I use lightly, thank you very much_

_Aaron: It was terrible mate_   
_  
_Robert: Friend-zoned already? Ouch. Wounded :(

_Aaron: What are we, 17?_

_Robert: God no. Well at least I hope not. Although I’ve got to admit you do look pretty babyfaced on those photos._

_Aaron: Charming_

_Aaron: But yeah, I probably was about 17 then. I don’t use this thing much_

_Robert: Guess I should count my lucky stars then? ;)_

_Aaron: Are you always this dramatic?_

_Robert: What can I say, it’s all part of my charm_

_Aaron: Sure, mate ;)_

_Robert: Right go on then. you’ve got three questions. Pick wisely._

_Aaron: Who said I want to ask you any questions? Bit sure if yourself aren’t you?_

_Robert: Are you always this mean?_

_Aaron: What can I say, it’s all part of my charm ;)_

And Aaron has to take a minute out, because surely that can’t be right, surely he, _Aaron Dingle,_ can’t be flirting? Aaron had never been a flirt, anyone would tell you that, in fact, the only way to describe Aaron’s flirting was hopeless. But after all of the few minutes he’d been chatting to Robert, he felt like he’d known him forever – which was strange because they hadn’t even talked about themselves yet - but Aaron felt comfortable enough to let his guard down for the first time in years.

Aaron bit his lip – wondering why he was analysing his own behaviour so much. Sure, Robert was fit, but that didn’t mean that anything was going to happen between them, so Robert’s opinion on him shouldn’t mean anything. But it kind of did.

There’s something about Robert that makes him never want to stop talking to him. Something so compelling, so different, so - exciting.

So he doesn’t stop talking to Robert, not until it’s nearing three in the morning and Aaron’s losing the battle he’s been having with his eyes to stay open.

Aaron says his goodnights to Robert and shyly suggests they pick up where they’re leaving off tomorrow. Thankfully he gets an eager response and falls asleep with this foreign, but warm, feeling in his chest.

 

 

 

\---

 

 

  
They talk every day for the next few days, alternating between messages and silly photos of absolutely anything. It becomes a mainstay in Robert’s days, something he looks forward to when he wakes up and anticipates throughout the day.

It’s the fourth day of consecutive conversation when he dares to suggest something to Aaron. A skype call.

It’s Wednesday evening and Robert’s had the day from hell at work, but he’s made it past the halfway point, now there’s just a mere few days before he’ll be back in the comfort of his Leeds office, with people who actually know how to do their jobs.

He’s perched on his bed, the bedside lamp is creating a warm glow around the hotel room, the nights drawing in earlier every day now. And Aaron’s in the same position, Robert figures when his blurry figure takes over the screen. He’s wearing a long-sleeved white shirt and what appears to be a pair of tracksuit bottoms. Suddenly Robert feels like an idiot for purposely keeping shirt buttoned to the top and fixing his tie. Aaron looks gorgeous though, so much more so that Robert could’ve ever imagined. It’s obvious he’s the same boy from the few Tinder pictures, that cheeky grin is unmistakable, but he looks so different also. Older, as if he’s grown into himself, and there’s stubble now, stubble that Robert can’t wait to get his hands on. And his eyes, Robert doesn’t know what to say about his eyes, just that he hopes all his future children have those eyes.

Aaron’s voice is quiet and soft and delicate. Not at all the kind of voice you’d expect to come from someone with Aaron’s appearance. He sounds almost timid, nervous even, and a part of Robert hopes he is, because if Robert’s rapid heartbeat and sweaty palms are anything to go by, then so is he.

They chat for hours, Aaron lets Robert whine about work and Robert listens to Aaron as he moans about what a terrible host Adam is. Robert tentatively asks about Aaron’s plans for the rest of the week, he knows Aaron’s heading back to Yorkshire soon and, well, he wants nothing more than to see him - really see him - while they’re both down in London.

“Me and Adam are heading out tomorrow, he’s finally decided that we should do something other than play Fifa all day whilst I’m down! He said something about sight-seeing and then a few drinks, but what he probably means by that is pointing at the London and then sitting in a pub all night.” Aaron replies, and really, Robert is on awe of him. “Why?”

“Well I was just - um - wondering - if you - um,” He takes a depth breath and reminds himself who the fuck he is, “Can I take you out, Friday night?”

And Aaron’s back to biting his lip, a frown taking over his features. It does nothing to stop the nervous feeling tearing apart Robert’s stomach.

And suddenly Robert’s backtracking, “I mean if you want. It’s fine if you don’t I just thought-”

“Shut up idiot, of course I want to.”

“Yeah?” Robert questions with what must be a shy smile, one replicated by Aaron.

“Yeah.”

Three hours later he’s still there, on Robert’s computer screen, yawning and scrunching up his eyes and smiling without teeth. Robert smiles back at him and says, “You should probably go to bed.” And Aaron fake whines and says he doesn’t want to go to sleep when he could be talking to Robert instead - sleep deprived and inhibitions melted away. They spend another half an hour just ending the call, arguing about who will be the first to press the threatening red button at the bottom of the screen. And honestly, Robert feels like a teenager again with the way they're just looking at each other, unable to hold their laughter in.

And when Robert wakes a few hours later his laptop is still placed on his knees. Aaron’s face filling the dimly light screen. Aaron’s soft snores pouring out the tinny speakers. Aaron’s chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Robert falls back to sleep and for the first time ever, he dreams of a warm body and the deepest blue eyes.


	2. i could stay by your side all night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron is always preaching about how he’s never been one to believe in love at first sight; doesn’t believe people can give their hearts away upon one view. He’s not pessimistic, he’s a realist. He’s seen enough heartache to know not to indulge fairy tales.
> 
> But he knows Robert could change that. Has changed that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it turns out five am is the best time to write fic, so i finally got this chapter completed! sorry it's later than promised my mind just really doesn't like me at the moment!
> 
> warning for brief mentions of self harm scars, and oh, there's some half arsed smut (which i hope isn't too cringey)

The day’s in-between then and Friday pass by fast and without haste. They’ve agreed to meet at Hyde Park; somewhere neutral and safe, not awkward like a cinema date but not too exquisite either.

He’s nervous. _Aaron Dingle is nervous._ It’s not something that happenes often, like spotting a shooting star or winning a football bet, yet the sensation in his stomach was unmistakable.

He hears Robert before he sees him, he’s all broad shoulders, pale valleys of freckles, and a smile brighter than the burning sun above him. But still, his first instinct is to run. Run as far as he possibly can. Only it seems his feet have other ideas as he stands to greet Robert.

“I'm so sorry I'm late,” Robert says first, cheeks flushed from the summer breeze, with genuine remorse. “I got caught up in work. I hope you weren't waiting too long.”

Aaron steps back and waves a dismissive hand in the air, shaking his head. He was suddenly aware of his own height in comparison to the other man’s, who seemed to tower above him, tailored clothes hugging his lean frame like they were crafted especially for him.

Aaron is always preaching about how he’s never been one to believe in love at first sight; doesn’t believe people can give their hearts away upon one view. He’s not pessimistic, he’s a realist. He’s seen enough heartache to know not to indulge fairy tales.

But he knows Robert could change that.  _Has changed that._

Aaron tears his eyes away and shuffles his feet awkwardly.

“No bother mate, I wasn't waiting long,” he lies, watching in awe as Robert feathers his long fingers back through his blond hair, movements effortlessly graceful.  
  
Gorgeous, Aaron thinks for the millionth time that week.

He wonders for a second if he should hug Robert, shake his hand, punch him on the arm. But he opts against all three options, decides to prompt their walking instead.

The park is crowded with people enjoying the sunshine. Any available spot of grass is taken with Londoners stretched out on blankets, reading or sleeping or drinking with friends. Children are running around, squealing and laughing, and Aaron and Robert are having to weave around people, ending up opposite sides of the path more often than not. It’s why Aaron suggests they follow the crowd and perch themselves on the grass.

“That’s better,” Robert announces when they’re settled, sat facing each other, “We can actually talk now. So - I’m Robert.”

Aaron can’t do anything to stop the laugh escaping his lips, “Well I bloody hope so, if not this could be about to get extremely awkward.”

“Alright cheeky, I just - I’m nervous. I always say stupid things when I’m nervous.”

“You’re nervous?”

“Well, yeah. Aren’t you?”

And Aaron thinks about lying, but he doesn’t want Robert to think he’s too sure of himself, because God, he’s not. “Yeah I am, feel better now though.”

The smile Robert produces then is bashful, yet beautiful.

They talk about everything. Everything and anything and nothing all at once. They’re both slightly calmer upon the realisation that neither has done this whole online dating thing before. Well, nothing more than a hook-up, anyway. They make small talk for the next hour or so, neither one making an attempt to move from the spot.

Aaron is content here, with Robert and his smile that feels like home. _Accent that is home._

 

~

 

They continue their walk of the park, bodies brushing dangerously closer with every step, until they wind up to the lake.

And before Aaron knows it, they’re in the queue for the peddle boats. There are quite a lot of people out on the water now, so they have to wait a little bit before boarding. Aaron doesn’t mind as it gives him a chance to learn more about Robert. They both share an affinity for trashy car movies, and Robert has the music taste of a teenage girl. Aaron learns that Robert’s family history is messy, just like his own. But that topic is too dark for a first date, Aaron reckons.

Before long, it’s their turn on the water. The blue boat is two-person and fairly small, with pedals on the ground for them to navigate around the lake. Aaron wobbles a little bit as he climbs in, and Robert follows behind, he moves slowly as he sits down, his arms spread out as he tries to balance himself.

It turns out to be more difficult than Aaron expected. Robert’s legs are considerably longer than Aaron’s and he takes up way over his half of the boat, forcing Aaron’s back to sit snug against Robert’s chest. They can’t figure out how to steer the boat, nearly crashing into a mother and daughter and then a teenage couple, who roll their eyes and mutter something that’s probably less than flattering.

Aaron tilts his head back to look at Robert, who’s staring at him curiously now, and he feels a sudden burst of bravery. However, that doesn’t stop Aaron’s hands shaking when he leans in for a kiss. But this time it’s not because of nerves, rather because of excitement.

Robert kisses a lot like he speaks, soft yet overwhelming in the best way, completely present and sure. His lips move with an ease that seems natural, leaving Aaron breathless right there on the water. He tries to match his pace with Robert’s but eventually he just lets the older man take the lead, surrendering himself and shutting off all his mental functions.

He feels Robert squeeze their hands together, but the boat wobbles dangerously and they both suddenly remember where they are, laughter erupting between the pair. It wasn’t exactly the most practical of places for a first kiss. But definitely the most romantic.

Faintly, in the back of Aaron’s mind, there’s a small voice telling him that this is a bad idea, that they’re going too fast, that they should stop and think about what they’re doing. It’s quickly muted, however, since the only sounds Aaron can focus on are the breaths being exchanged between them and the gentle quacks of the ducks bopping around them.

 

~

 

They wind up in some bar by the time the suns setting. Aaron had never heard of the place, much to Robert’s disgust, so he’d been all but dragged there.

When they get through the doors, challenging the crowds of this apparent popular bar, he’s met by a panoramic view of the London skyline. The bar has an open concept, allowing everyone a breathtaking view of the city.

_Forget Paris, Aaron thinks, London is the more romantic city in the world._

“What you drinking?” Aaron asks.

“No, no I’ll get these”

“Nah you’re alright, this was all your idea, you’ve got to at least let me get you a drink.”

“No honestly, I insist.”

“Shut up Robert, I want to get you a drink. You can buy the next round, right?”

“Mojito then, please.”

He orders a Mojito and a standard beer, and when the waiter leaves to retrieve the order, Aaron is laughing at Robert for what feels like the hundredth time that day. 

“What?” Robert asks, shuffling under the attention. “Have I got something on my face?”

“No, no. Just you, you fancy yourself a right posh man don’t you? _Oh, just a mojito please Sir_ ” Aaron mocks.

“Ah yeah - but you’re the one who fancies me, so,” Robert says teasingly. And Aaron’s shaking his head, can’t bring himself to deny that.

The thought is the only cue he needs to lean into Robert’s space. He isn’t sure what it is; the wine, the flirty banter, or the heat of Robert’s presence, but he reaches out, slowly, carefully, and places a kiss on Robert’s cheek.

Robert does, in fact, buy the next round, Aaron’s protests going unheard. But he makes it up to him, buys them a bag of chips and cheese to share on the walk back to the tube station. And apparently that’s the way to Robert’s heart.

"I had a great time tonight," Robert says, their hands brushing against each other as they walk the vibrant streets of London. Aaron was half tempted to reach over and wrap their hands together. But he reckons he’s completed enough romantic cliches today to last him a lifetime.

"So did I," Aaron says honestly, a shy smile crossing his features.

And Robert’s beaming back at him - as if Aaron hung the moon and the stars that are currently shining down on them - then Robert finally cuts the crap, and he links their fingers together. Aaron glances down at their joined hands like he’s never seen a pair of hands to do that before. And it paints such a fucking gorgeous picture.

The warmth in his chest, this fondness he’s developed for Robert, is getting out of hand. Robert’s touch makes him burn, heating Aaron from the inside in a way he’s sure he’s never felt before.

He leans forward and kisses Robert’s cheek once again, out in the open for anyone to see, before it even occurs to him that maybe he shouldn’t.

But the smile that paints itself on Robert’s face tells Aaron that it was more than alright.

No one falls in love in one week Aaron thinks, no matter how good the first date is. That’s just not how the world works.

It seems it doesn’t matter though, because Aaron’s heart had other ideas, and those ideas were completely filled with Robert.

But he knows that this contentment isn’t going to last a long time. And he knows that obstacles are going to start flying their way at some point.

And yet, Aaron decides that he won’t think about it either, because he hasn’t felt this happy in a really long time.

It's stupid of him to ignore his worries he should know better, considering he’s been hurt one too many times. But he’s honestly never felt as good with anyone as he has with Robert today.

He doesn’t want to chance ruining this, so he doesn’t say anything. He ignores the mature part of himself that keeps nagging him to slow things down. He pretends that he’s oblivious and carefree. And he figures that 22 is probably still young enough to get away with it.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by Robert’s _sightly tipsy_ whine, “Stop thinking so hard and just kiss me will ya?”

And who is Aaron to deny a gorgeous man like Robert? They kiss and kiss and kiss, each parting kiss leads to another, until their lungs are burning with a desperate need for air.

Finally, they part ways, and Aaron hates to admit he misses the warmth of Robert already. He doesn’t have to wait too long to hear from him again though - Robert’s calling him to make sure he got home alright before he’s even got his keys in the door.

And of course, Adam has waited up for him, making Aaron spill every cheesy detail of his and Robert’s date - which Aaron does so - a bit too freely if anything.

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

It’s half past one in the morning and Robert hasn’t seen Aaron in three hours. Which he reckons is a good enough explanation as to why he’s lying awake, missing him like crazy. He thought about inviting Aaron over to his place tonight, it’s not something he usually has to consider - most of Robert’s dates are followed by a trip back to his place. But Aaron isn’t  _most dates_. Aaron’s different, Robert can’t put his finger on why; but he wants this to be so much more. And sleeping together on the first date didn’t exactly scream serious, did it?

But Robert finds himself missing everything about Aaron when they’re apart, from his terrible jokes to the way he bites at his lip when he’s nervous. But most of all he misses his eyes. Robert had very nearly forgotten to breathe the first time he caught hold of them. Their colour is startling and yet somewhat calming at the same time, like all the sapphire depths of the ocean swept over him in a mere second and drowned him, trapping him underneath the surface, leaving him unable to look away.

Which is why he persuades Aaron to come over to his hotel the morning following their first date, scrap his early train and get the late night Saturday one back Emmerdale - even offering to pay for the ticket difference.

Luckily, Aaron didn’t take much persuading. Although, if Adam found out, he’d probably kill him.

Robert wonders if he sounds desperate, if Aaron just thinks he’s just this sad and lonely twenty-six year old in the big city;  but well, the truth is, he is desperate - desperate to see Aaron again. When the text from Aaron comes through on his phone, alerting him that he’s on his way, he closes his eyes and breathes a sigh of relief that he doesn’t have to wait an age before seeing Aaron again.

Robert would come up with all the silly excuses in the world to spend time with Aaron, he figures.

Aaron arrives looking as gorgeous as ever. He’s dressed down today, but it suits him, he looks much more comfortable than he did on their first date. Aaron helps himself to a beer the second he’s in the room - despite it only being midday - and Robert takes the opportunity to look him over a few times. His hair is bouncing freely, the curls being let free of their usual hold, and his skin is glowing alabaster, an effect of the week-long heat London has provided.

They spend the afternoon ordering room service and acting as if they’re 12 again - alternating between ordering the silliest thing possible - from champagne to profiteroles. They end up raking up an expensive bill, but Robert reckons it’s worth it for the song-like laugh the bubbles out of Aaron every few minutes.

Aaron walks out of the bathroom and Robert can’t control himself any longer. It’s not long before he’s standing dangerously close to Aaron, his hands on his neck, one running into his hair and the other pulling him in. He places a soft kiss to the underside of Aaron’s stubbled jaw, nose pressed into the warm skin of his neck, and grins as he hears Aaron groan beneath him.

He presses his lips lightly to Aaron’s at first, not wanting to scare him away. But then it’s Aaron who takes initiative, taking the kiss to a whole new level, and he makes Robert’s toes curl with it.

He kisses like he can’t get enough, like he wants to drink Robert in. And it’s making Robert feel things he didn’t believe possible. So he sucks in Aaron’s heat, then pulls away, comes back with a peck or two or three and finally dives back in, kissing him in a way that would surely make his knees give out if he wasn’t supported by the wall behind him.

Aaron readily opens for his tongue, gentle and thorough and gorgeously slick against his own when they meet. His body starts moving against his will, rippling against Aaron’s.

That’s when Aaron takes back control of the kiss, and Robert feels this intense need to anchor himself before he floats off. He gets a hand in Aaron’s curls, finally, in the way that he’s really wanted to, and tugs. Aaron reacts immediately, tilts his head back so Robert can kiss him more thoroughly than ever.

Robert pulls away, the need to come up for air making him dizzy, he raises his head to look at Aaron. His eyes are dark with desire, much like Robert assumes his own must be, his bottom lip is pulled into his mouth, no doubt for him to bite onto and drive Robert wild. He toys with the bottom of Aaron’s t-shirt and slips a hand under, but Aaron is quick to swat his hand away, and Robert just can’t seem to understand why. He tries again, slowly and gently and Aaron lets him. He gets the material half-way up before Aaron makes his whimpering sound, as if he’s scared for Robert to see him, but Robert can’t fathom it - he knows Aaron’s beautiful - he just knows. He makes a shushing sound before meeting Aaron’s eyes and granting his permission, “Can  I?” he asks; the last thing he wants is to make Aaron feel uncomfortable. Aaron nods shyly and Robert is considerate in his touches.

Robert stares down at Aaron’s now exposed belly, chest, shoulders - and he can understand Aaron’s hesitation now - but not the shame in Aaron’s eyes - never that.

He hopes his gaze is appreciative, because it’s how he feels, and he thinks Aaron ought to know how beautiful Robert thinks he is. “So gorgeous,” slips out of his mouth without him noticing, too preoccupied with miles and miles of Aaron’s golden skin. “Aaron, God - you’re so - so beautiful.”

Aaron blushes against it, ducks his head and Robert takes the opportunity to attach his mouth to the spot below Aaron’s ear. A sensitive spot.

_Noted._

“Rob,” Aaron whispers, grabbing at Robert’s hair, his shoulders, his shirt. Anywhere he can reach “Robert.”

They’re too far away, far too much cold distance between their bodies. So Robert takes it upon himself to pull their bodies flush against each other, clothes long forgotten. It does nothing to relieve the desire bubbling from them. Robert reckons he could cover Aaron like a blanket, if he would let him.

He moves, intending to shift them into a more comfortable position, but instead they end up, _not so gracefully_ , falling on to the bed. It punches a laugh out of him, and Aaron too, a welcome break from the all-consuming intensity of the past few minutes. He grabs Aaron’s hand, crushing his fingers, grounding them both, and repositions them into a more practical position.

Robert’s feet tangle with Aaron’s and suddenly this is much more intimate than your first time with someone you’ve only know a week, is supposed to be.

He’s barely through thinking that when Aaron is right back on him, hands on his hips and shuffling them backwards, towards the headboard.

“Shit,” he hisses when their cocks make contact, because Aaron is, thankfully, just as hard as Robert. He’s rocking into Robert quickly and desperately, setting a pace of desperation.

Robert wraps his arms around his waist, presses in until their chests are touching, until he can reach Aaron’s lips again.

Their kisses are positively filthy this time, both of them moaning into it like a pair of teenagers. And Robert knows in that moment that nothing will ever feel this good again.

He kisses Aaron’s chest next, right over where his heart is beating rapidly, over the scars that make Robert want to hurt anyone who’s ever hurt Aaron. He continues the assault of his lips and positions himself right where Aaron wants him - he waits for a second, breathing warm air over him and making Aaron’s hips buck uncontrollably - and looks up. He wants to see if Aaron want this as much as he does.

“Robert,” Aaron exhales, “Robert please.”

Aaron’s hand finds its way back into Robert’s head and he gives an encouraging squeeze – that’s all Robert needs to dart his tongue out, tasting him.

Now that he’s had a taste, it’s impossible to stop, impossible to leave Aaron in suspense for any longer.

And suddenly Robert’s skin is burning; he feels like he’s seconds from coming himself, even though Aaron has barely touched him yet. It’s just too good, all of this.

The thrusts of Aaron’s hips slow and his breathing becomes shallower than Robert is comfortable with.

“Hey,” he says, coming off Aaron with a slick sound. “Hey, you okay?”

Aaron nods quickly but doesn’t look Robert in the eyes. His hair is falling around his face, gone wild from the heat between them.

“Aaron,” he says, low and firm. “Aaron look at me.”

It takes him a second, but he does. He’s taken his hands off Robert’s neck, his mouth still slightly parted.

“I’m fine Rob,” Only Robert’s not entirely convinced, “I swear. It’s just, well this is a lot, isn’t it? But it’s what I want. More than anything.”

“You sure? Because we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“But I do want to, more than anything. I just - I don’t want to scare you off.”

“Never,” Robert promises.

And for once, he’s telling the truth. He’s used to sweet talking people into bed - but not Aaron. And that’s when he figured that there’s Aaron, and there’s everyone else. And if Robert had to choose between the two, he would choose Aaron, every time.

He climbs back up Aaron and lays at his side, waits for Aaron to decide to next move. And well, Robert’s pretty greatly when Aaron climbs over the expanse of his body and finally gets his hand wrapped around Robert. Lips connect once again.

He breaks away with a gasp, throwing his head back and sucking air into his lungs. Aaron’s lips are everywhere suddenly, making Robert’s back arch. His legs twitch, so he wraps them around Aaron’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer.

And he loses himself in the feeling of Aaron consuming him for the next hour, or so.

 

~

 

“Don’t want you to go,” Robert murmurs later that day, squeezing his eyes shut and running his hands up and down Aaron’s side. They were laying in bed still, exhausted, bodies aching in the best way possible.

Aaron’s fingers are warm and clever as calloused fingertips caress the sides of Robert’s face, his breath puffing hot against Robert’s cheek. “Don’t want to go,” Aaron responds.

“Well don’t then.”

“Shut up,” Aaron huffs out on a laugh.

“No I’m serious, stay. I’m heading back in the morning anyway, can drop you off on your doorstep.”

Aaron hums in agreement, eyes already betraying him, lashes fluttering shut against Robert’s chest.

So Robert gets to fall asleep with Aaron wrapped around his side for the first time. And yeah, everything is perfect.

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

Until it’s not.

Until Robert wakes to a cold, half-empty bed.

Until all traces of Aaron are nowhere to be seen.

The electric alarm illuminating the clocks tells Robert that's is just ticking over to seven am. And his eyes try to fight against the reality of what that means.

So much for different, Robert thinks.

 

 


	3. you had a fun summer but it's suddenly colder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last week had been perfect, the kind of perfect that makes you wish you had the ability to stop time. But life keeps moving, that’s what Robert realises now. It just keeps moving, no matter how much you try to hide from it.
> 
> For just a few days they were RobertandAaron, happy and indestructible, and just some fucking pipe dream it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is later than planned, shorter than planned, and not half as good as planned. but it's here, so .. yay? 
> 
> i've split this into two chapter which means i've already done most of the next chapter, which i PROMISE includes much more fluff, and aaron. i've got my final dissertation week push this week and then i will have chapter four (the final chapter, i think) up for you!
> 
> as always, i hope someone enjoys and let me know what you think! i'm @dingletragedy on tumblr xx

He checks for a note, first and foremost. It’s a reasonable assumption that Aaron has just nipped to the shop, too embarrassed to order more food up from room service after the previous nights antics. It’s a reasonable, but seemingly incorrect assumption; there isn’t a note in sight.

In fact, there isn’t a single trace of Aaron left; a room void of anything Aaron. If it wasn’t for the heart-shaped bruises on Robert’s neck and the angel-like shaped dent in his bed, he might’ve convinced himself last night was all a dream.

As he sits up, and takes in his surrounding, he can physically feel his heart sink.

Robert spends the next few minutes toying over what to do. His first instinct is to call Aaron and find out what the hell is going on. But then he remembers that he’s only known Aaron a week, they’ve only met twice, only slept together once. And it hits him then, that maybe, maybe that’s all Aaron wanted.

Someone to wine and dine him before getting a decent shag and pissing off. Never to be seen again.

Robert turns his face into the pillow, and desperately tries to shut off his mind from the dreaded reality. It was strange, for Robert, to feel with such a heavy heart over something that wasn’t even his. Because Aaron wasn’t his was he? _And now, it was pretty clear he never would be._

Robert tries to level his head, gulps down the glass of water at the side of his bed, and wills himself to not overreact.

He tries to organise his thoughts but well, he doesn’t even know where they’re at, really.

They’re just swimming around in his head, dark seeking dark, light getting lost, and he tries not to think too much about.

Finally, Robert throws the covers back, and rolls dejectedly out of bed and heads to the shower, washing away the last remnants of last night. _Of Aaron_

The shower doesn’t help, in fact it does the exact opposite. Showers give him too much time to think, too much time to ponder over what the fuck went wrong, and without his permission, his mind wanders.

He thinks about Aaron, inevitably.

Maybe it would be less painful if Robert could understand it, or if he even had a niggling doubt that this would be the outcome of last night. But for the first time in his life, he had no doubts at all.

More fool me, Robert thinks.

But Aaron wasn’t like that, was he? He was shy and grumpy and kind. He’d opened up to Robert and in turn let Robert show him to darkest corners of his brain.

Robert looks down, blinking away visions of half drunk smiles, sleepy eyes, and soft curls. He lets the shower wash away the tears that he wasn’t even aware he’d shed.

The last week had been perfect, the kind of perfect that makes you wish you had the ability to stop time. Life keeps moving, that’s what Robert realises now.

It just keeps moving, no matter how much you try to hide from it.

For just a few days they were  _RobertandAaron,_ happy and indestructible, and just some fucking pipe dream it seems.

He steps out the shower, the too hot water beginning to irritate his skin, and sinks back into bed. It’s still early enough for his eyes to feel heavy and the city to be still below him.

There’s also the fact it’s a Sunday so he has a rare day off. Generally, having days off from work are considered a good thing. Robert used to think so anyway. But right now, he could use the mind-numbing distraction of a sleazy businessman. Anything to diverted his mind from the path of Aaron.

Suddenly he’s thinking of his Dad. He’s thinking about how he was never good enough for him. _For anyone_.  It’s not something he think about often anymore, usually bolt-locked in a brain chamber, never to see the light of day, until something happens - someone happens - and he’s forced to acknowledge it. The thoughts usually creep up on him in the middle of the night, breaking a cold sweat.

But they don’t always end there, sometime the dangerous thoughts keeping rolling; like today. They’re vicious and there’s no stopping them. Today they’re dancing along the edges of his mind, hiding beneath so much more; the tears and the fire and the memories.

_Everyone always leaves._

Robert shuts his eyes again, trying to calm himself down. Wills the threatening tears to keep at bay. It’s no use, though. He feels like everything is shattering around him, just crumbling down. Because for the first time in years he felt wanted, loved, as if his life was finally going somewhere. Somewhere other than business meetings and lonely nights.

He’d woke every day for the last week with a buzzing anticipation for the day ahead. The excitement offering a vast contrast from the sorry-life he’s been existing in since his university days.

The sorry-life he’s fallen straight back into.

Sleep finds him then, eventually, sneaking up on him. It softens the sharp edges of the memories, makes them blur into one another and fade to black until his mind is somewhat blank.

 

~

 

He wakes to his phone vibrating somewhere in the room. It isn’t on his bedside table, so he ends up wading through his covers to locate it. He uses what’s left of his battery to scroll through his notifications, ignoring the worried pleads from Vic after having been too preoccupied to reply to her texts yesterday, and the various ugly work email.

And then it’s violently ringing against his palm, he accepts the call before even catching a glimpse of the caller ID.

“Aaron?” He answers, perhaps too hopefully.

“Aaron?” The female on the other side of the line questions, and Robert can just picture the corner of her lips querking up into a questioning grin.

He sighs against it, “Vic.” He states.

“Yep, last time I checked anyway.” And then there’s silence, the static barrier between the phones buzzing away. Robert knows what she’s doing, she’s waiting for him to explain; open up. She’s always banging on about how he needs to be more open, honest - but well, look where that’s got him.

“Who’s Aaron then?” Patience has never been her strong suit, Robert thinks.

“No one.”

“I thought you might say that. But you see, I know you too well Robert Sugden. You’re obviously very eager to talk to him - _and at this time on a Sunday morning.”_

“So? What does that have to do with anything?”

“Oh don’t be such a spoilsports Robert, I’m a woman - I _need_ my gossip fix.” He sighs again, for what feels like the seventeenth time during this conversation. He loves his sister, so much, but God, she’s relentless. “I’m going to take a complete guess, and assume you pulled last night?” She

“No. Yes. Well kind of” He fumbles through the phone.

“Right, so which one was it?”

“It’s complicated.”

“God good job I’ve got the whole morning free then isn’t it. Unless you’re free tonight - you’re coming back today aren’t you?”

“Uh - uh no - no actually - I’m going to book another night. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Right,” Vic draws away, and Robert forgets she can read him like a book. “Start explaining.”

And so he does. He tells her about tinder - cowers against the laughs that travel down the line and directly into Robert’s heart - but then he threatens to hang up and she doesn’t utter another sound.

He tells her about the constant texting, the morning phone calls, and the late night skype chats. He tells her about their first date; about hyde park and the boats, their first kiss and Robert nearly falling head first into the water. He tells her about how they shared a bag of salty chips and contrasting sweet kisses, before going their separate ways for the night.

He tells her about last night, about how light it all made him feel (he missed out all the gory details, of course). And then, then he tells her about his morning, about the cold bed and the even colder heart.

 

~

 

An hour later, he feels emotionally wrung out. Robert closes the call down and his finger finds his way to his photo library without his permission. He pulls up the only two pictures he has of Aaron.

The first is from their first date; a picture of Aaron. The hasten waters of Hyde Park are rippling around him as his muscles tense with a downward turn; Robert having given up on the steering to capture Aaron. His face is turned away from the camera, unaware of Robert’s campaign to keep the evidence of Aaron in his memory - _forever_. The sun is beating down on Aaron, as if it’s picked him out from the flurry of bodies, and he looks like some sort of golden statue against the blue fabric of the water. He’s smiling, unashamedly and Robert’s not even sure he’s aware he’s doing so. It’s the kind of smile that radiates his whole body; the kind you can see in the crinkles of his eyes and feel through the delicate press of their thighs.

The second is from last night. It’s Robert’s favourite. His phone informs him that it was taken at 01:17 am, just minutes before they’d fallen asleep. The silk white sheets are askew between them, not doing a great job to cover their chests; but Robert doesn't remember either of them complaining at the time. Robert’s got his right arm thrown around Aaron’s neck, his fingers dancing along his jawline - securing him close to his own body. There’s a flush of pink decorating their faces, a clear reminder of the time they’d just spent devoting to each others bodies. The smiles on their faces compliment each other, both mid-laugh as Aaron had attempted to turn his head away from the camera. Robert’s eyes seemed to have travelled to Aaron’s face, but somehow still expertly capturing the picture. Looking back now, it scares Robert, because the utter happiness and adoration radiating from his own eyes is unmistakable.

He wants to be scared.

He wants Aaron.

_He wants to be scared with  Aaron._

And if there’s one thing that Vic always manages to do, it’s bring the best out of Robert; the hope and the optimism.

Which is why he finds himself with his fingers trembling around his phone, index finger reaching down to hit the call button on Aaron’s number. He feels like his whole life is hanging in the balance of one phone call. Each long ring that echoes makes Robert’s optimism shrink.

He reaches Aaron’s voicemail quicker than he’s prepared to and something inside him inevitably shatters. For a split-second he thinks about un-matching Aaron on tinder - a tiny part of him wants to do him one over - but he isn’t like that anymore; petty and always out for revenge.

He get himself dressed, stumbles through the day; trying Aaron’s phone multiple times. Over and over again. He’s relentless with it.

Until he’s not, until he lets the harsh reality settle in his bones. He’s not entirely sure how he gets there, but at some point in the evening, he decides going out on the pull is the best, and only, way to spend his night.

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

Robert is staying in Hammersmith - the gate into the city. It’s not his favourite part of London, but his boss would argue that he’s here on business only. It’s convenient, being so close to the edges of Kensington and Victoria, where the he gets shipped off for pretentious dinners and business talk.

It was also convenient for the night life.

 

The club he chose was surprisingly packed today, considering it was a Sunday night. He figured it must be student night or something and it makes him grimace at the memories of his own student days. _Too many Sunday nights partying and too many missed nine am lectures._ There’s sweaty bodies everywhere, mostly occupying the dance floor; dancing and grinding to whatever shitty song was playing through the loud speakers; drowning out all the thoughts inside Robert’s head.

He can think of a million places he’d rather be than here.

And one person he’d rather be with.

But well, Aaron doesn’t want that, so he’s just going to have to suck it up, isn’t he?

As soon as he’s made his way through the vibrant crowds and to the bar he waits, not so patiently, for the bartender to come to him so he can order shot. Or 10.

A couple of shots later and he made his way to the dance floor. When it comes to dancing, Robert is mostly the same whether sober or drunk. He’s just a little more confident, a little more daring, and a little dirtier when he’s drunk. Still as embarrassing though (or so he’s been told).

He’d had a bit of attention already in the night, two women, sisters he imagined, practically fighting over him. And sure, it did Robert’s damaged ego the world of good, but it wasn’t exactly the most attractive thing to have two sisters practically drooling over you.

And now - back at the bar - there’s this man. He hadn’t exactly caught Robert’s attention, well, not until the barmaid places a Porn Star Martini in front of him; _courtesy of the guy in the corner_ , she’d said. He’d of preferred a Old Fashioned but it’ll do. If it’s alcoholic then it’s one step closer to forgetting Aaron’s name. Right?

The man was short and muscular. He looked like he spend six days a week in the gym and the rest of his time in a sunbed shop. He wasn’t exactly Robert’s type, _putting it lightly,_ but he was interested, and don’t get him wrong, he was attractive. Robert bite the bullet and sauntered over to the man.

Schooling his expression from one of exhaustion, he puts on his best fake smile, and flashes the man a grin full of lies.

“Cheers for this,” he says as a way of introducing himself.  

"You looked down, and lonely. Thought you could do with some company."

"Damn. I was trying to be subtle”

“So what brings you here tonight?”

“Oh, I think you know the  answer to that, don’t you?” Robert says as he turns to face the man and pulls him closer by his waistband. It all feels too forced, too fast, and his voice sounds too fake even to his own ears. But it’s what Robert needs; just one night with a nameless face and he’ll never think of Aaron Dingle again. _Right?_

“Don’t you want to know my name first ?” He’s saying, snapping Robert out of his thoughts.

“Can’t say I’m all that fussed really.”

“Suit yourself. That works for me.” Of course it does, Robert thinks to himself grimly.

They chat for a while, but Robert finds himself bored quickly. It never used to bother him, the mindless ways he used to talk himself into someone’s bed, he could do it for hours - if he knew it’d get him a result. But that was before. _Before Aaron._ But now he just wants to get out of here, he’s not interested in hearing another word about the man’s seemingly dull life,.

And if he’s honest he’s not even interested in his dick anymore.

He’s trying to tell him that - attempting to let him down gently because he’s not a complete coward. Only the music is too loud; pounding against them, so strong Robert can feel the heavy beats in the soles of his feet. He gestures to the door, reckons it’s a bit cruel to lead him outside just to brush him off but he can’t find it in himself to care.

The whole night’s been a disaster really; he came here with one aim, and he’s failed miraculously.

They step outside, the cool night air hitting Robert like a violent wave crashing against crumbling rocks. Sobering him from the inside out.

He’s just about to open his mouth, turning to the man with the rejection on the tip of his tongue.

 

And then he sees him.  

 

Robert’s chest shakes from the inside, his own personal earthquake. He wobbles, unsteady on his feet.

 

_Aaron._

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

He follows Aaron, moving further from the club entrance and finds him just standing there, halfway down the street, an angry scroll crossing his features. There’s someone lurking behind him, it must be Adam he reckons. _Hopes._

  
It’s raining now, there’s people everywhere - all intoxicated with happiness and vodka - but Robert - he feels stone cold sober suddenly; no amount of alcohol could make him blind to the mess he’s made of everything.

He makes to grab for his wrist but Aaron turns around sharply and recoils his hand.

“Aaron, wait-”  
  
“Go fuck yourself Robert.”

“Aaron,” he pleads - he’s reasonable enough to know that the past can’t be rewritten, but he’s optimistic enough to believe that there’s a solution somewhere. “I can explain.”  

“I don’t want to hear it.” Aaron tells him, with this barely-concealed anger and Robert shivers against it. “Save your apologies for someone who actually cares.” Aaron says, gesturing to the bloke behind Robert. _The one he’d all but forgotten about._

“No. Listen to me. He’s nothing okay? Nothing.”

It seems Robert’s really fucked this up, since all Aaron can bare to do it scoff at him.   
  
“I'm sorry!”   
  
“Are you?!” Aaron scoffs as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“Yes _. God yes._ I’m sorry, Aaron.” He says sincerely, and then throws in something probably shouldn’t, “for whatever it is that I’ve supposedly done.”

Aaron’s looking at him, just staring for seconds that stretch into minutes. His face gives nothing away, but his eyes are a storm.

There are people weaving around them now, adjusting their courses so as not to bump into these two men who are so caught in the moment, in this bubble of tension and underlying heartache.

And then, “fuck you,” he all but seethes at Robert; and that pain in his chest that’s been toying with him all day is replaced with a whole different feeling. _Anger._

Robert laughs bitterly. “Are you serious? I know how this looks - and yeah - you know what, it’s exactly that. I came out tonight so I could pick up some random bloke and forget all about you. Because I was hurt Aaron. And maybe that makes me a shitty person. But I don’t think you have a leg to stand on, do you?”

_“What?”_

“You left this morning - without one fucking word Aaron - and suddenly you’re not only, still in London, put also out on the pull.” Aaron open his mouth as if to argue his case, but Robert cuts his protests short, “don’t lie to me - I know you better than you think.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah - I know that you’re scared. And I am too. Because this whole thing we’ve had going on has been so intense; moving at a speed neither of us are used to,” Robert’s body is moving on its own accord, as if he’s not in control of his own actions. (But then he has to admit, he hasn’t exactly been in control of much since the moment his eyes landed on Aaron’s Tinder profile; the moment his heart beat out of is chested and pointed directly at him.) “but doesn’t that tell you something Aaron? That we’re on the fringes of something really special here - something we should fight for.”

“No Robert - that little speech - it just proves exactly how much you don’t know me.”

Robert sighed, rocking slightly on his heels. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Yeah I ran this morning - and alright - maybe I should have - should have left - left a note or something.” It sounds like Aaron’s unravelling and Robert has to mentally kick himself for hoping that means something. “But has it even crossed your mind that I left because I wanted to? Not because I was scared, or whatever excuse your sad, lonely mind has invented, but because I don’t like you Robert. And I certainly don’t want to see you again.”

“Aaron,” Adam warns. Reminding Robert they weren’t entirely alone. Although it seems Robert’s conquest had enough sense to scarper.

“No Adam, it’s about time he accepts it.” And then he looks at Robert one final time, the yellow glow of the street lights not doing either of them any favours; Robert can see the tears glistening in Aaron’s eyes, matching his own. “Don’t bother tryna call me again.”

Robert heaves a defeated sigh. It’s all he has left in him after today. But even so, he holds his breath, watching for a reaction, waiting for Aaron to backtrack. Only it never comes. Aaron turns and walks, Adam trailing behind him.

Suddenly his whole body feels numb - from the cold or something else, he’s not sure.

He watches on as Aaron all but jogs to get in the nearest taxi. Stands there in the burnt summer night air and he watches the taxi pull away as it becomes smaller, swallowed by the city, until it disappears completely. Taking his heart with it.

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

Robert sits on his hotel bed for a whole fifteen minutes before he musters up enough energy to move and take his shoes off. He realises how sober he feels, how lonely he feels. Neither of those things are signs of a good night out, Robert has come to realise. But bumping into the person you’re desperately trying it forget about, by hooking up with another person, doesn’t exactly set you up for a good time. Does it?

There’s the distant sound of a car door opening and slamming shut. Robert winces against it, hates that there’s a whole world out there going on without him.

And then there’s a ringing, this constant buzz, and Robert’s about to chuck two paracetamol down his throat before he realised the ringing is coming from his doorbell.

With a sigh, he grabs his phone to check the time, before warily heads towards the front room. Who the fuck is knocking at his hotel room door at two fucking AM? He can’t believe the cleaners are this eager to get on with things, surely.

There are a lot of things Robert can’t believe, actually. He can’t believe that he’s turned into this sorry mess so soon. He can’t believe that he’s still mopping over some lad he met on bloody Tinder. But mostly, he can’t believe who he comes to face with on the other side of his door.   
  
“Aaron?”   
  
He sounds off, sounds breathless even to his own ears.

He’s just stood there, looking tired and biting his lip nervously, and Robert wants to pinch himself. Wake himself from this cruel nightmare his mind is teasing him with. Aaron just stares at him a moment, before licking his lips, and letting out a quiet greeting.

“Hi - can I uh - can I come in?”

Robert’s heart flutters, the stupid thing, and he nods slowly, then steps back, not looking at Aaron as he opens the door a little wider. _Mentally prepares himself for whatever is about to come._


	4. pull the love over my eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.” Aaron tries, aware it’s futile. He holds his breath against the rejection he’s expecting.
> 
> Robert stares at him, unblinking, for a long moment, before picking up his glass and drowning the contents in one swing. The burn of the whiskey visible in his reactions. And Aaron has to look away, before the first tear rolls and the next hot-faced apology trails miserably from his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!!! all i can do is apologies for the long wait for this chapter! i finished my dissertation and university - forever - and kind of didn't want to write a single word ever again. and THEN my laptop broke and it was all a nightmare!
> 
> anyway, i can't say that it's worth the wait - but i don't think i'll ever be happy with this chapter - so, i hope at least one person enjoys!!!! and if anyone is still reading this, then thank you SOOOO much <333
> 
> (rated e)

“Are you coming in or not?” Robert says, his voice tight, controlled as he holds the door open for Aaron, who’s suddenly motionless.  

“Uh - yeah,” Aaron says, adds a little shrug to defy the press of anxiety cracking at his ribcage. 

He steps inside on unsteady legs, with a heart just as precarious. Once the door clicks shut behind him Robert flicks the lights on, illuminating the room in an off-orange glow. 

Aaron wonders what he must look like to Robert; eyes red-rimmed and raw from all the crying he’s done this weekend. Lips and nails the brutal attack of all the guilt-infused nerves. 

But then Aaron has to admit Robert doesn’t look much better himself. He hadn’t known what to expect from the other man, but it sure wasn’t this - there are bags under his eyes that put Aaron’s own to shame, and a hollowness - a sadness - in his eyes. 

And it hurts, because Aaron was too blindsided to notice Robert’s anguish earlier. 

The thought alone is enough to make his stomach churn. 

Aaron opens his mouth a little, in an attempt to explain himself, but nothing comes.   


He’s come here on a whim; after Adam had knocked some sense into him. He’d spent the taxi ride avoiding small talk with the driver in favour of devising a whole speech in his head. But now he was here, he was drawing a blank. _This might not be the best way of going about apologising_ , he berates himself. 

There was silence permeating the room, punctured only by the distant sounds of people participating in all London’s nightlife has to offer. Just like Aaron and Robert were doing a few nights back. It’s Robert who drowns them out, “nice hoodie,” he says, breaking the almost unbearable quiet.

Robert’s smile, bitter and watery, makes Aaron want to break in two.

Confusion overtakes Aaron for a second, he furrows his brows and follows Robert’s eye line, looking down. And that’s when he realises. ** _Shit._** He’s still wearing Robert’s fucking hoodie. The one he’d haphazardly shoved in his bag when he fled this place in the early hours of the morning. 

He’d blame the still-masked early morning sky, the darkness of the room concealing his view, accidentally picking up the wrong hoodie. _But that would be a terrible lie._

His cheeks heat, as he looks back up at Robert, and shrugs. “Must’ve gotten mixed up in my things when I-” he starts before cutting himself off, knowing his attempts at playing it cool are failing dramatically. 

“Why are you here, Aaron?” Robert asks, and Aaron shivers against the coldness in his voice. “I thought you said you wanted nothing more to do with me?” 

“I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.” Aaron tries, aware it’s futile. He holds his breath against the rejection he’s expecting. 

Robert stares at him, unblinking, for a long moment, before picking up his glass and drowning the contents in one swing. The burn of the whiskey visible in his reactions. And Aaron has to look away, before the first tear rolls and the next hot-faced apology trails miserably from his lips.

“For which part, Aaron? For when you snuck out of here without so much as a word? Or when you ignored all my texts and calls? Or how about just then - tonight - when you had the audacity to call me a liar and a cheat?” Robert pushes indignantly. 

He was angry, that was abundantly clear to Aaron now - his face was flushed an angry red, his expression hardened.

_ And Aaron doesn’t blame him one bit.  _

He pulls the sleeves of Robert’s jumper down over his hands, leaving only the tips of his fingers peeking out. He uses them to pull at loose threads, fidgeting. 

Eventually, Aaron takes a breath, hot tears welling in his eyes at an alarming rate - before his mind can even catch up with him. 

Before he gets the chance to explain himself. 

“For all of it.” Is all Aaron can muster up. 

Robert sighs, long and drawn out, irritated for sure. He shakes his head and tosses Aaron’s apologies aside. 

Robert’s sitting down then, slouching against the wall until his knees bend and he hits the floor. He draws his legs up to his chest and rests his arms over them, making him look so much younger than his 24 years.

Aaron itches to join him, to fall down next to him and forget the world. But he can’t - his limbs feel like they’re made of brick or something equally as immovable.

“I thought - I thought you were different, Aaron. I actually let myself believe that this might lead somewhere, somewhere really special. But you’ve made your feeling pretty clear.” 

“And what are those? _My feelings?_ Enlighten me, Robert. Since you seem to know more about what I’m feeling than I do myself.” And he’s shouting now, because he’s angry. So fucking angry. 

_ Angry at no one but himself. _

Robert doesn't say anything for a second or two, and then: “You were just looking for someone to help scratch an itch and toss aside - someone you could forget about come morning. And I came all too willingly.”

Aaron releases a disbelieving huff. As if he could ever just forget about Robert. As if he wouldn’t see his eyes, hear his laugh, feel his skin; every moment for the rest of his life.

“Is that really what you think of me?” Aaron says, failing to hide the hurt from his voice.

He’s gasping for air now, _drowning._

“I think it’s justified, don’t you?”

“Robert, don’t –” Aaron starts, but Robert interrupts him, 

“Don’t what? Call you out? The truth hurts, does it?”

Aaron pulls his eyes away from Robert’s and to a stain on the floor. It's less painful than looking at the sadness, _the tiredness,_ pulled across Robert's face. “No. Because it’s not the truth, Robert. It’s so far from it.”

“Then what is the truth, Aaron? Did you just get bored of me? Is that it?”

“No.” Aaron says quickly, with more heat. The word like a hand clenched around his throat. “ _God,_ no.”

Robert nods slowly, slowly and cautiously, like he's trying to believe it, _like he doesn’t dare to believe it._

It obviously doesn’t work because: “It’s me then. You - you just don’t want me.”

And there’s tears in his eyes. 

_ Aaron’s too.  _

“I do - I do want you, but -” It’s strangled, sounds the way he imagines a broken violin might, a string too taught. It’s fear he recognises in his voice and it overwhelms him like a current, dragging him away from the place he wants to be. From the words he’s so desperate to speak. 

“But what, Aaron?” Robert grits out, patience seemingly wearing thin. 

 

_ Silence. _

 

Robert raises an eyebrow and widens his eyes, as if pushing him to continue.

 

_ Silence. _

 

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I thought.” He says with a coldness Aaron didn’t think someone who shines so brightly only 24 hours earlier, was capable of. 

“Don’t be like this, Robert,” Aaron mutters wildly, arrested by the flash of tears in Robert’s eyes.   
  
“Like what? _Angry? Hurt?_ Because God knows I am.” Roberts saying, voice flat, devoid of emotion, as if he’s accepted that Aaron doesn’t want him. _He does._

The knowledge just toes the line of being too much. The weights are shifting and Aaron can feel his body subconsciously shuffling closer to the door; as if bolting out of here is the only option. 

“Look if you want me to go - just say.” _I always have been a coward,_ Aaron thinks.

He’s met with a silence. A silence and a stillness, like the words Aaron just spoke evaporated into a void. 

He tries desperately to swallow the lump in his throat, to swallow the tears in his eyes. He looks at Robert, asking for something, anything, but he mostly looks closed-off.

 

_Silence._

 

Aaron can’t help the bitter laugh that escapes his mouth, the one that hides the pain and the ** _heartbreak_**. “Bye Robert,” he says as he gets a hand on the door. 

But Robert’s interrupting him before he’s able to turn the lock, finally.

“Don’t go. Aaron, please don’t go. I want you here - of course I want you here.” It’s abrupt enough to stop Aaron in his tracks. 

Aaron toys with the handle of the door, considers making a run for it anyway, saving himself; saving Robert, whilst he still can. But he can’t; he’s ran from Robert already once - _twice_ \- now. 

He can’t do it again. 

“I was - I am - scared, Rob,” Aaron admits, and he can’t stop his own tears now, cheeks on fire as he speaks. “I know it sounds stupid, sounds like some shitty excuse, but it’s the truth. And that’s all I’ve got.” 

“Scared? Of what? Me?”  Aaron’s heart aches when he hears the barely-masked pain in his voice. 

“Yeah. No. Kinda.” Aaron stutters out, voice raw. He takes a shaky breath and a step towards Robert’s position on the floor, before: “It’s not you, it’s me. And this - us. It’s intense, Robert. Everything it should be, everything I’ve always wanted it to be. But - but everything I don’t deserve.”

“Don’t deserve what? To be happy?” Robert says, a disbelieving huff filling the air. 

And Aaron is shaking his head before Robert’s even finished his sentence.

“Whether I deserve it or not doesn’t seem to come into it, Robert.”

“What do you mean? Aaron, you aren’t making any sense.” 

“People don’t stay with me. One way or another, they leave me broken. And I can’t - can’t go through that again - I can’t.” 

_His Mum, Gordon, Jackson, Ed_. Each pain incomparable, but all adding to the bundle of insecurities halting his life. 

“I ran because I was terrified - terrified of the way I felt - I feel - for you. Terrified of this - us - not working Robert - of you - realising that I’m more hassle than I’m worth.” Aaron argues, almost willing Robert to agree. “I’m terrified of what I know you could do to my heart.” 

Robert’s gaze changes, it turns sad, it turns sympathetic and Aaron wants to shake it out of him. “Don’t - don’t say that, Aaron, you’re-“

And Aaron has to cut him off, he can’t hear Robert sing his praises. Not right now. 

“You don’t know me, Robert. Not really. You don’t know what I am.” _Damaged goods,_ Aaron thinks. 

“And what are you? Because all I see is this amazing man. Strong and funny and _beautiful._ And that’s not someone I’d ever want to walk away from.”

The words just hang in the air for a moment. And Aaron wants desperately to believe them. But how can he? When his whole life he’s been told the same but shown the exact opposite. 

“I was afraid of how easily you got under my skin. Afraid of how perfect and - good - this all felt. These feelings - they’re powerful and scary and new.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “I was afraid of how you made me feel like I was 16 again, like some lovesick teenager,” he laughed at himself, and then took another step towards Robert, before slouching down the wall to meet him. 

“I understand that, Aaron. I really do,” Robert says as he shifts his body slightly, brushing his knee against Aaron’s and sparking a blistering feeling within him. “My life has been so mundane, so average, for years now, and then you came along and lit a spark inside me. You made you want to get out of bed in the morning, you made me want to better myself. You made me believe in love again. You Aaron - all you.” 

Robert’s words were so nice, _so flattering,_ that Aaron doesn’t speak for a moment, so that he could replay them in his mind a few times. He let himself believe for a moment that they could be true.

“You really mean all that?”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it, Aaron.” 

“It’s just - well, you’re this - this gorgeous bloke. You’ve got your own home - an amazing job - this gorgeous face and a confidence I could only ever dream of having. And I’m just - just me. How could someone like me ever be good enough for you, Robert?”

“God - Aaron - you really have no idea,” Robert starts, “it may come as a shock, but you’re not the only one to have ever felt worthless.” It’s so quiet Aaron barely catches it, tacked on like the last gust of winter wind that gets inside before you close the door. Sneaking in, unexpected and unwelcome. 

Aaron snaps his head up then, locks eyes with Robert for a second. His expression is full, brimming with something Aaron knows but doesn’t, understands but can’t articulate, and as though he can sense that, Robert drops his head, huffs out a small laugh. “So what makes you think _I’m_ too good for _you?_ ” 

“I don’t know - I - I just - just-”

“Just nothing, okay? Who cares about the logistics of things, Aaron? All I know is I want you - _good enough_ or not.” 

It knocks Aaron sideways.

“I want you too.” _Finally,_ Aaron berates himself, “so much.” 

“So don’t fight it, Aaron. I don’t know what’s going to happen next - nobody does - but if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s you. And we’d be stupid to let this go without trying, don’t you think?” 

Robert blinked up at him, and there was that thought again, _I could love you,_ Aaron thinks.

 

_I’m already halfway there,_ is the after-thought.

 

“You’re good enough for me, Aaron, I promise. God, you’re - you’re too good.”

Aaron wishes he could pull down the stars and drape them around their shoulders and hide him from the rest of the world. From whoever it was that made Robert think he wasn’t - he isn’t - good enough. 

He doesn’t dwell on it for too long, instead he focuses on the sound of Robert’s laughter filing his ears, filling his heart too. And yeah, they’re bloody disasters, aren’t they? 

He’s too busy wiping his tears away; the ones full of fear and love and sadness and laughter,  to notice Robert reaching over to take his hand with his own capable fingers. The world narrows, suddenly, as Robert brushes his fingers over Aaron’s knuckles. This is what he came here hoping for, he just wasn’t optimistic enough to expect it. 

Robert’s fingers start to rub soothing patterns into the skin of Aaron’s hand as they look at each other, and it’s a good job they’re sitting because Aaron’s sure his knees would buckle under the softness of it all. It finally feels like the wheel is once again moving, steadily bringing them to the end of their dramatic day. 

“You make me happy, Aaron. A kind of happy I forgot I could be. _Didn’t believe I ever would be."_ Robert says softly. 

At that, Aaron’s heart skips a beat, fondness blooming like a wound in his chest. He reckons Robert deserves to be the happiest person in the world. 

“I really - really like you Robert,” he says, nerves kicking in once again. “I could love you so much.” 

The words had tumbled out of Aaron before he’d had the chance to stop them; before he’d had the chance to realise the gravity of what he was saying. And now he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. 

He didn’t throw the word love around, not ever. He’s always believed in love, but he never thought it was something he’d have _, something he’d want._ Then, blue eyes and freckles happened and for the first time in his life, Aaron allowed himself to imagine a life full of love and trust and safety.

He imagined a life shared.    
  
It took a matter of hours for his every thought to revolve around Robert, it seemed.

“Then do it.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes.” Robert says with certainty, “love me like I love you, Aaron Dingle.” 

“Fuck. Fuck I love you, Robert.” 

He loves a lot of things, now. 

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

They’re standing now, hands still intertwined, clasped together like two broken hearts. Aaron sways towards him, drawn to the heat of Robert’s body like a moth to a flame. 

And Robert just the same. 

He’s looking at Aaron, eyes so intense that couldn’t look he away even if he wanted to. _(He never wants to.)_ There's a ridiculous amount of fondness and love displayed on his face, it should scare Aaron, should make him want to run a mile, but instead he wants to burrow himself inside of Robert’s heart and read him like a book. (Not that Aaron reads many books, absolutely not.) 

He wonders if his heart will ever not skip a beat when he sees that look in Robert’s eyes. The look that Aaron now understands as _ **love.**_

Aaron shifts back slightly, tangled fingers becoming loose, and roams his eyes over Robert’s body. There’s this confidence flurrying inside him, and he’s unapologetic in his shameless staring.

Robert reels him back in with a hand to Aaron’s cheek. The warmth spreading from Robert’s palm, is more than welcome. Aaron focuses on that one point of touch, feels for a moment like he's swimming upwards, head just barely breaching the surface of the water. He makes himself focus on Robert's eyes, so bright and enchanting from this close, and everything else falls away. All the insecurities and fears melt away into Robert’s palms. 

Aaron pauses, a breath away, watches Robert's gaze flick down to his mouth, catch there, eyes going unfocused as Aaron subconsciously dips his tongue out to wets his own lips. Something warm and slow begins to creep through his veins as the moment sharpens, and clarifies.

And then he leans forward, gains some height on his tiptoes and lets Robert fit his lips against his own, the touch gentle and soft. Aaron is sure he can feel Robert’s heat settle inside of him, making every nerve-ending buzz, white hot and electric, suddenly his head is spinning, and he needs more. _So much more._

Aaron wants to say _yes_ and _more_ and _don’t stop_ but instead he kisses Robert back, prising Robert’s mouth open with gentle licks of his tongue, because he couldn’t conjure adequate words if he tried. He wants nothing more than this; Robert’s mouth on his own, his hands making short work of the buttons on Robert's shirt before he’s pushing them both back onto the hotel bed. 

Robert blinks up at him, lets Aaron strip his chest bare as his mouth pops open, waiting and _wanting._ Aaron peels the shirt off his back and throws it the side, it lands haphazardly on the floor and Aaron can see the complaints form on Robert’s tongue. He distracts Robert before he gets the chance to protest, guides him onto his back, and the softness of the mattress is lost amidst the feeling of slow planting, shallow breaths and warm skin. The feeling of _hands_ meeting _skin_ is enough to send shocks of heat over whatever goose-bumped skin touched.

Aaron chases another kiss then, curls his fingers in Robert’s wild hair. And suddenly Aaron thinks he can see stars. Maybe that’s just what Robert does to him – ignites a whole new personal universe right inside his chest, every beat of his heart a new Big Bang.   
  
He’s the sun and the moon, he’s warmth, and he’s happiness. _He’s the exception to everything._

When he pulls away, Robert looks wrecked. His lips are red and swollen in that way they only ever get after Aaron’s finished with them. 

One of Robert’s hands snake up under Aaron’s - _Robert’s_ \- hoodie, skimming at his ribs, tickling him as he breaks off the kiss. Robert instantly makes a noise of protests, but it’s silenced by Aaron’s laugh as he urges Robert undress him, it’s only fair. The hoodie and t-shirt come off in one swift move and Aaron tries to push the thoughts of _he’s obviously very practiced in that movement_ from his head, and instead attaches his lips back to Robert’s. Revelling in the feeling of their skin clashing once again. 

It’s easy, the push and pull between them. It seems practised, natural, the way they fit together as Aaron settles in to straddle Robert’s lap, the two of them half-sprawled across each other as Aaron kicks his shoes from his feet, landing with a thud that will probably wake the guests down below. He doesn’t care though, not one bit. 

“Aaron,” Robert breathes, egging him on to do exactly what he’s wanted to do since the moment he snuck out of this hotel room only 14 hours ago. It feels like a lifetime though. 

Once there’s a slight distance between them, Robert cranes his neck, smirks and raises an eyebrow, like he’s challenging Aaron to kiss him again, with him with heat and ferocity. Luckily for Aaron, it’s no challenge.

The kiss is less careful this time, less tentative and more passionate. Aaron feels Robert runs his tongue over his bottom lip, eliciting a moan, it’s not long before Aaron parts his lips, allowing Robert to lick hotly into his mouth.

He wonders how long he could do this until he tires of it, just kissing and kissing until all breath is lost. The chaste kiss and the gentle nips, the battle of tongues and the fight for dominance, the breathless gasps and moans of pleasure.  

They’re both panting and breathing out through their noses as their mouths move together. Lips and hands everywhere, hands flying over skin, skittering across the sensitive plains and valleys of all the places that drove the other one wild. 

Heat spreads throughout Aaron’s body, and he has to draw his mouth away unwilling, before he gets himself off just bloody kissing Robert. 

It’s embarrassing how gone Aaron is for the older man, he’s still trapped in his bloody jeans, yet he feels dangerously close to coming.

Aaron attempts to calm himself, level his head and his beating heart too. Instead, he begins to put his mouth to use elsewhere. 

He shuffles down on the bed slightly, enough to allow room to roam Robert’s body with his fingertips. He runs his fingers down the column of Robert’s throat, with fascination, as if he’s only now realising how tantalising Robert is. How delicate and how vulnerable. 

The older man's body goes slack under his, although his fingers are flexing against Aaron's sides, like he doesn't quite know what to do with himself. Aaron attaches his mouth to Robert’s neck, takes a second to suck a dark bruise into the thin skin there; nipping and sucking and _marking._ After he’s satisfied with that assault, he makes his way to the middle of Robert’s chest with his mouth, hot and wet breaths making Robert shiver.

Aaron wants to draw this out, make it last all night but Robert is already writhing beneath him and, well, he’s made him wait longer enough, hasn’t he? 

And so he moves down, peppers soft kisses down, down, down. He stops at Robert’s hip, stroking the thin skin there and looks down at him. It turns out to be a mistake, because the look, the heat and intensity in Robert’s eyes, is almost enough to set Aaron alight. 

It’s at least enough to have Aaron fumbling at Robert’s belt buckle, hips wiggling their own way out, his body desperate for that release. Robert’s so hard. Aaron can see it through his jeans, a thick shape outlined in denim, and it barely gives when he squeezes it. He takes pity on Robert and with the belt unbuckled, he pulls Robert’s jeans over his hip. Giving him the head start for Robert to kick them off. Boxers and all. 

Aaron scratches at the inside of Robert’s left thigh with his beard, and then his right; he wants Robert to feel this for days. He tells Robert so, and Robert says _he hopes he won’t need to remember._

Aaron blows hot breath over Robert, a taster of what’s yet to come, and Robert gasps, his hips bucking up. He looks so good like this, better than anything Aaron ever imagined, all flushed and panting and _**Aaron’s.**_

Suddenly there was a hand in Aaron’s hair, soft yet possessive; gentle yet desperate. 

“Aaron. Wanna feel you,” Robert moans, his breath is uneven, a residual panting from their frantic movements. “Please.” 

And he reckons he’s denied Robert long enough, really. 

He whines when Aaron takes him in his mouth, it’s a sound he won’t forget any time soon. 

He wonders how Robert must feel, because Aaron feels like he’s been set on fire in the best way possible. 

_ He’d burn forever if it felt like this. _

“So good. Aaron - _fuck_ \- it feels so good,” Robert cries, sounding as breathless as ever. 

Aaron hums in appreciation, sending small vibrations along Robert’s length.

After a few relentless thrusts from Robert, Aaron grabs at his hips and settles him, lowering his mouth until his nose tickles the slight dip of hair at Robert’s skin.

Aaron screws his eyes shut against the pleasure. He can feel his toes curling, body vibrating along with Robert’s. He keeps himself there, swallowing around his cock to add to the sensation before pulling off.

He pulls off just as Robert's thrusts start to get erratic, has to bite down on a grin when Robert whimpers out a protest, hips sinking back to the bed. 

Aaron takes a moment to catch his breath. Wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, whilst his other hand lazily strokes at Robert. When he’s as composed as he’s going to get this evening, he shuffles up, catches Robert’s lips in his own. 

Robert is broad and muscular beneath Aaron. Heavy and Warm. A steady body and a rapid heart. Robert is also bloody impatient. "Aaron," he says, voice _gravelly and filthy and tantalising._ "Come on, please. I need-"

“What? Tell me what you need, Robert.” 

“Fuck me. I want - want you to fuck me, Aaron.” he pleads.

 

And so Aaron does.  

 

It’s every bit as good as the first night had been, and then some.


	5. i think i was blind before i met you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’d traded whispers long into the night, him and Aaron. 
> 
> Spilling dreams and secrets and things they didn’t know about each other yet between the sheets. Aaron had fallen asleep first, content in the circle of Robert’s arms, cradled in warmth. 
> 
> And when the morning sun started to creep over the horizon, Robert felt big enough to fit the entire world into the palm of his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again!!!! 
> 
> the final chapter is here - finally! i can only apologise for the stupidly long wait, again! but between finishing uni and recovering from major surgery, it's been a crazy few weeks!
> 
> it feels a bit sad to be finishing my first multi-chapter fic because i've had so much fun writing it! feels a bit naff to be called a multi-chapter fic and there was so much i could've done with these two tinder guys, but this was only ever to test the waters. and hopefully, there'll be more multi-chapter fic coming from me in the future! 
> 
> the title of this chap is from first day of my life - bright eyes. which is the soppiest song ever and you should all listen to it whilst thinking about robron xo 
> 
> oh ALSO this chapter changes pov halfway through, when they get to emmerdale! 
> 
> anyway .... enjoy!!!!

Robert doesn’t wake to his alarm. Nor does he wake to the hotel cleaner threatening to kick his door down.

Instead, he comes to slowly, softly, and as he blinks the sleep out of his eyes, he realises that he actually feels rested, for the first time in a long time.

And with Aaron’s arm still wrapped around his middle, waking up feels more like falling into a dream than out of one.

They’d traded whispers long into the night, him and Aaron. Spilling dreams and secrets and things they didn’t know about each other yet between the sheets. Aaron had fallen asleep first, content in the circle of Robert’s arms, cradled in warmth. And when the morning sun started to creep over the horizon, Robert felt big enough to fit the entire world into the palm of his hand. 

Now, the clock tells him it’s nearing six am – a truly abysmal time to be awake, if you ask Robert, but today he might just let it slide. The streets below are slowly rising for the day, car doors and hurried feet making for distant music. Sunlight slants in through the blinds and spills all over the hotel room floor, bright rays like liquid gold. It illuminates the dust motes dancing in the air, warming his cheeks.

Or maybe it’s something else that’s warming Robert’s cheeks.  _Maybe_  it’s the man tucked up beside him; face relaxed and lips parted. It would explain the excited  _thump-thump-thump_  of Robert’s heart behind his ribs; the way blood dances through his veins like it can’t quite settle down. 

One day, Robert is going to wake up and be used to the reality of it; of Aaron.  _Today is most definitely not that day._  

He takes the opportunity, Aaron asleep in the early hour, to study the younger man’s face;soft around the edges in the light of the morning. His curls spill around him, falling down to cover his forehead, and it takes all Robert’s restraint not to run his fingers through them. 

His eyes leave Aaron’s face then, gaze pulled away by the promise of gorgeously naked skin -  _down, down, down_  - and lower still. He studies how the light breaks on the soft curve of the columns of Aaron’s shoulder blades, the gorgeous lines of muscle down to the small of his back. He’s got the corner of a duvet wrapped around his waist, haphazard and already sliding off the curve of his bum.

_And Robert kind of wants to rip it to shreds._

He spends minutes, hours studying Aaron’s sleeping form, before eventually the younger man’s eyes to flutter open - awakening something in Robert’s heart too.

It hadn’t occurred to Robert until now that maybe, in the harsh morning light, Aaron would look at things differently. Maybe he’d wake and regret opening his heart up to Robert last night. Maybe he’d run again.

 

_Maybe._

_Maybe._

_Maybe._

 

It’s almost as though Aaron can sense the change in Robert’s demeanour, because next thing Robert feels is Aaron’s hand slipping in his, tangling their fingers.

And it settles all his  _maybe’s_ at once.

Aaron’s cheeks are still red with sleep, pillow creases adoring his face. But still, he looks like every dream Robert has ever had.

He makes Robert’s chest ache with want. It’s not the wild kind, not the fire that he feels waking up in his belly whenever he looks at Aaron’s thighs for too long; it’s the longing he’s felt for years, the desire to have someone to be with; _to be himself with._

Someone to hold when he needs comfort, someone to kiss when he needs nothing more than that. Someone to adore.

_Someone to adore him right back._

His heart is set, now, on Aaron being that person.

And it’s then - then that Aaron looks up at him, lashes dark and his eyes shining like galaxies, a gorgeous flush staining his cheeks. Robert’s heart jumps, and he realises that no explanation of  _Aaron_  could ever be enough.

He feels like he could explode. And Aaron isn’t helping matters, he won't let go of Robert's gaze; intense and all-consuming and  _addictive._

“Like what you see, do ya?” Aaron asks, his voice raspy with sleep. Just this side of disoriented.

He’s got a dangerous glint in his eyes already, like a man on a mission, and it only takes Robert seconds to fall for everything Aaron’s giving him; hook, line and sinker.

“You could say that,” Robert replies, scooting closer and slipping his leg between Aaron’s.

“You gonna kiss me then, or what?” Aaron says, polite as ever, but there’s a tremor in his voice that gives him away.

He doesn’t wait for doubt to creep its way into Aaron’s mind, instead, Robert is straddling him before either of them can take their next breath 

A bright, dizzy kind of happiness breaks right over his head like a tidal wave, wriggling in underneath his skin until it breaks into goosebumps. It's heavier than even the most expensive wine he's ever tasted; warm and brilliant in his veins.

Robert leans down, lines their mouths together and brushes his tongue over Aaron's, just to feel the spark. ( _That spark could start fires,_ he decides.)

As cliché as it sounds, kissing Aaon feels like coming home. It feels like a ship finally sailing into harbour after a yearlong voyage, like finally typing the last dot of a novel, like accomplishing something Robert’s yearned for his entire life.

He attempts to pass on some of his feelings with his mouth;  _his tongue_ , but he thinks Aaron might already know. He's sweet and bitter and now familiar on Robert’s tongue, beautifully bold when he bites at Robert’s lip and draws circles on his back, pulling Robert impossibly closer.

Robert draws back when his lips have gone numb and his lungs are demanding air, and he can’t help but match Aaron’s smile

It’s not just any smile, no. But it’s that small, private curl of his lips – Robert’s favourite. The one that crinkles up the corner of Aaron’s eyes, and makes Robert’s heart sing.

Aaron blushes at the attention Robert’s giving him as Robert slumps back down by his side, bodies a tangled mess. His nose comes to rest just on top of Aaron’s head, buried in his curls. He smells like peppermint and home and everything Robert craves when the city gets him down.

He slides his hands under Aaron’s borrowed t-shirt then, his palms warm against Aaron’s stomach. His other hand claps at Aaron’s shoulder and pulls him into a tight hug. 

(Or cuddle, _if you like._ )

“Good morning,” Aaron mumbles against his skin, when they’ve both caught their breaths back.

“Yeah. It really is.”

Sometimes it feels like this all Robert wants; Aaron is all he wants. So much it’s physically hurting. A constant ache somewhere in his chest suspiciously close to his heart.

The thought urges him to locate his phone. It’s wedged between the pillows, warm to the touch and full of texts from Vic. He ignores them all in favour of searching through his phone for the camera app.

Robert’s mum; Sarah, she once told him that photographs are a memento of the past; evidence to prove that something so beautiful once existed.   
  
She also told me that a single photo can hold emotions and stories that sometimes words fail to convey.

And in this moment, with Aaron’s head buried in his chest, Robert couldn’t agree more.

With that, he lifts his phone above their heads, angles the camera to capture Aaron’s face and…

 

_Flash._

 

The sound of the shutter is loud in their quiet bedroom, startling Aaron, who lifts his head to look at Robert, brow creased in confusion.

“What ya doing?”

“Taking photos, obviously,” Robert says, which earns him a shove in his rips, phone crashing on his own chest.

“Oi!” Robert protests, lifts his phone above their heads once more.

“What?” Aaron grumbles

“Smile, will ya?”

 ‘’ts too early.”

 

_Flash_

“Robert! I wasn’t even ready!”

“Well get ready then,” and Aaron just stares at him, annoyance long disputed, replaced with a look of  _love and adoration._

_A look Robert never thought he deserved, until now._

_Flash_

Aaron surprises him then as he places a hand on Robert’s cheek and desperately turns Robert’s head towards his own. Suddenly there’s a clash of lips on lips before Robert has time to register what’s going on.

It’s the kind of kiss that deserves a picture, Robert thinks when he settles into it. Aaron’s lips slot perfectly between his own, so soft they barely feel like they’re touching.

Robert can’t help the smile that stretches his lips, and that’s when he flicks the shutter. _Once - twice - three times;_  just to be sure. 

Robert lowers his phone and smiled broadly. Considering his very minimal photographic experience was based entirely on a low-quality iPhone camera, he was pretty impressed with his efforts. “God, we look good.”

“Right, are we done now?”

Robert doesn't think he'll ever, ever be done snapping photos of Aaron. However, there are more important matters to attend to, such as Aaron looking delectable, lying on a bed, with a time limit looming over them. And so he leans over and sets his phone on the night table, before scooting down until he's level with Aaron.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I really do need to get going now. Some of us have a train to catch - one I  _actually_ need to get on,  _this time_ ,” Aaron says with his head placed on the comfort of Robert’s chest. Sweaty and satisfied.

Their bags are packed and waiting by the door, but neither has made a single attempt to get out of the bed.

“Come with me, I’ll drive us, it’s not like Emmerdale is much further up from Leeds,” Robert murmurs, voice ringing with a hint of begging.

 “Rob-” 

 _“Aaron.”_ He purs. 

“Don’t you have to get back to work?”.

“Called in sick, haven’t I?”

If Robert was being honest with himself, he knew it was pretty cowardly to call in sick on a Monday, but he hardly cared. He refused to feel bad about avoiding his responsibilities in light of what had happened the past few days.

“Well, we can’t all take a skivvy. I’ve gotta get back - those cars won’t scrap themselves, will they?” Aaron replies, but Robert can hear the fight leaving his voice already.

“You’re saying you’d rather scrap pieces of junk than spend the day, with me?” Robert says, low and seductive. 

“Spending the day together, are we?”

“Well - I mean - if you want to? We don’t have to, it was just-” 

“Of course I want to, you idiot.” Aaron replies almost instantly. “You sure you’ve not got better things to be doing than spending the day with me?”

“Absolutely nothing at all.”

He can pinpoint the second Aaron lets himself believe, and it’s every sunrise all at once. “What’ve you got in mind then?”

“Well, I thought you could show me the highs and lows of Emmerdale,” Robert says, more a suggestion than a question. “But right now, we have an hour before we need to be out and a very expensive bed to be making the most of.”

He doesn't wait for Aaron to make some snarky remark or make the first move. He just goes for it, leans in, crushes their lips together in a way that now feels like second nature. (Kissing Aaron feels as natural as breathing, as if it’s something he’s done his whole life; practised and perfected.)

It's slow and deep, this kiss, just the way Robert craves it; he craves it all with Aaron. It's Aaron taking charge, pressing him flat into the mattress, hands roaming, rucking up expensive sheets, dipping into the places they're most curious to go.

They kiss until they can't breathe, until their lips are swollen, their jaws sore. They kiss until the mattress starts digging into Robert’s shoulders and Aaron starts to worry about his  _old-man_  back.

 

They kiss until they’re blissfully fucked out.

 

They kiss until they've had enough, and even then, it's still not enough, so they kiss until the cleaner bangs relentlessly on their door, threatening to let herself in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They make it out of the hotel eventually, but not before leaving the cleaner a £20 tip, and a  ** _sorry about the mess_**  note.

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

“Right, you ready to leave  _the city of love_  behind, Mr Dingle?” Robert asks from his seat in the car, legs stretched before him, ahead of the long journey.

“Hm,” Aaron mumbles, almost incoherently. “It’s been a crazy week, hasn’t it?”

“A good crazy, I hope.”

“The best,” Aaron agrees. “I love you.”

Robert hates that they’re in the car and he can’t hug Aaron like he wants to. He settles for another kiss instead, long and hard, pouring his gratitude and his love and  _everything_  words won’t cut into it

“I love you too,” Robert replies immediately; effortlessly.

Saying I love you in the cold light of day, sober and with a clear head felt completely different. But in the end, it just slips out, easy as breathing.

He starts up the engine then, and with one last glance at the hotel behind them, he turns off onto the busy streets of London. 

It’s not long before he hears Aaron groan beside him, settling back in his seat with a huff. They’re only an hour into the journey when he asks Robert to pull into the nearest service station.

(Robert swears he has the bladder of a five year old.) 

As Aaron runs off to find the toilets, Robert takes the opportunity to pick them up a couple of fruit coolers from Costa. They might be extortionately priced but they’re needed. The beating summer sun drying up Robert’s throat in seconds.

He finds Aaron outside, stretched out on one of the public benches, sunglasses perched on his nose.

“Hey,” Robert announces, “I got you a drink, figured you were a summer berries type of guy.”

“Cheers. You wanna get going?”

“Nah, let's just have five minutes. Need to rest my legs.” Now he’s seated, Robert’s enjoying the feel the burning orange rays beating down on them, relentless in their heat.

“What, after an hour?” Aaron laughs, “you old man.”

“Idiot,” Robert mumbles under his breath. And yeah, that’s becoming a pretty regular occurrence.

“I just called Mum, let her know I’m still alive and all that,” Aaron says, voice relaxed; content. “Haven’t mentioned you yet though, you’ll give her the shock of her life.”

“What, with me being the _sexiest_  man her son has ever brought home?”

“Or, most arrogant,” Aaron replies, voice mocking.

The truth is, Robert can’t wait to meet Aaron’s family. It feels like the next step, as if meeting the family solidifies them further.

And well, if they’re anything like Aaron, he’s going to love them.

“I’d give anything to have my parents here again, even just to talk to them for a minute. I’d start by telling them all about you.”

It slips out without warning, without Robert’s permission. It’s a brief thought one minute and he’s blurting it out the next.

“Well, my Mum at least,” Robert corrects himself, feeling a different sadness altogether.

He misses his mum. Always. He misses her so much it hurts to breathe sometimes, but now, today, it hurts a different way.

Now he has Aaron, his brilliant bloke he wants to show off to his Mum - to make her proud. _To make Aaron proud._

When Robert dares to look back up to Aaron there’s something in his eyes, a question, but Aaron is holding back.

“What?” Robert prompts.

Wordlessly, Aaron takes his hand and squeezes. “Why don’t we go visit her? At the grave? It’s on the way back, right?”

And that’s the moment Robert’s heart just about gives up on him.

“What?” He manages to choke out, eventually. His hands are clamming, whether it’s from Aaron’s suggestion or the heat, Robert doesn’t know. 

“We could take some flowers and you can tell her all about this fit bloke who's swept you off your feet?” Aaron says, his nervous laugh follows.

Robert wants to say  ** _yes_** , he itches to run back into m&s and pick the most vibrant bunch of flowers.

He wants to say  ** _yes_**  and he wants to say  ** _please_** and he wants to say  ** _thank you_**.

But instead his entire body freezes, momentarily resembling a solid husk of ice; no, not just ice, it is frozen flame, burning him alive when he feels Aaron's fingers underneath his chin, willing him to look back up again.

“Rob?” Aaron questions, gentle as ever.

Somewhere in the slope of Aaron’s nose, in the shadows cast by his eyelashes, he tries to find the answer to the question he hasn't dared ask.

“I - you’d do that for me?” Robert gets out through the lump that seems lodged in his throat, stubbornly trying to prevent him from talking.

“I’d do anything for you.” Aaron replies.  _Simple as that._

He takes a deep breath, lifts his sunglasses to perch on this forehead now he’s sure he’s got his emotions in check. There’s a breeze that tosses his hair around on top of his head, sending start bits flying awry until Aaron reaches up and settles them back into place, tucking the longer bits behind Robert’s ear.

And Robert feels the exact same, he’d kill for Aaron, he’s sure of it. It doesn’t stop him feeling slightly floored over Aaron’s sincerity, though.

“It’s just-”

“We don’t have to, not if you don’t want,” Aaron cuts in apologetically. “It was just - just an idea.”

Robert tries to arrange his face into a reassuring smile. “No. No I do - I really do.”

“What is it then? And don’t say nothing, because I know you,  _Robert Jacob Sugden_.”

“No ones ever bothered before, you know? They find out my parents are dead and that’s that - we never - never talk about them.” His voice breaks on the last words, and he looks resolutely away from Aaron, though it doesn’t hide the sheen of tears in his eyes, shining from the sunlight.

“They’re still your parents, Rob,” Aaron says as if it’s obvious _, and maybe it should be._ “And your Mum, you talk about her all the time, with this soft little smile on your face. She was obviously incredibly special to you.”

Robert closes his eyes and breathes in. “Yeah, she was. Okay,” he says finally, letting the word out in a massive rush of breath. “Okay, let’s do it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I need your help picking some flowers out though.”

He tightens his fingers around Aaron’s hand and lets himself be pulled to his feet.

Robert wishes he could say that he’s used to the sparks dancing in his fingertips by now, that every time they so much as touch doesn’t render him yearning and completely helpless.

“You want my help picking flowers? And what makes you think I know the next thing about flowers?”

“Because you’re a big softie, obviously,” Robert laughs.

Aaron smiles at him, as warm as the sun.

 

_And yeah, Robert loves him._

 

“Come here you,” he says next, burying his hand in Aaron’s hair and pulling gently until he tips his chin up and lets his palm slide off, and proceeds to bring their lips together.

It’s wonderful and lazy, warm like the summer air around them. Aaron is smiling into the kiss, as if he can’t contain it, and Robert - Robert feels like he’s got the whole world at his fingertips.

 

 

 

~~~ 

 

 

 

They stand by the gravestone, Robert with a bunch of his Mum’s favourite flowers in his hands, Aaron with Robert in his.

 

 

**_In loving memory of_ **

**_SARAH SUGDEN_ **

**_(Nee Connolly)_ **

**_25th March 1952 - 16th Nov. 2000_ **

**_Wife of Jack_ **

**_And devoted mother of_ **

**_Robert, Andy and Victoria_ **

 

 

Robert has a system in place for dealing with moments like these. He’d developed it sometime after his Dad died, when visiting his parent’s at graveyards became as frequent as Sunday roasts. Being here still stings sometimes, no matter how many times he walks these paths. It’s like taking a sip of tea so hot it burns the roof of your mouth; Robert does it nearly every morning, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

"You okay?" Aaron asks, barely a whisper, but it whisks through Robert's ears along with the summer breeze; wraps around his mind like silk and settles him almost instantly.

The hand in Robert’s twitches, fingers curling tighter as he flicks his eyes towards the grave and back to Aaron.

Aaron’s cheeks redden then, but he smiles, waving a hand awkwardly out to his right. “Hello, Sarah.” He says, voice hesitant, eyes questioning. Robert nods at him, words stuck at the back of his throat; prompting Aaron to continue.

“We’re off to see my parents next - Rob, well he thinks it’s a good idea but they’re a crazy bunch. I’ll try not to let them eat him whole - not yet at least - I’m kinda hoping he’s gonna stick around” He’s saying on a laugh, and again he turns to Robert.

Robert feels his heart swell as he watches Aaron. What did he ever do to deserve him?

“I’ll make sure we have a drink for you - a G&T, Robert says it was your favourite,” Aaron continues.

Robert takes over after that, before he breaks at Aaron’s softness; his compassion and his  _heart of fucking gold._

He places a hand against her name. He’s so used to feeling a hollowness; a sadness and regret when he’s here. But it feels different today, today he’s overwhelmed with this love and hope, so strong that it overflows that feeling of emptiness that was once a fixture as familiar to him as his heartbeat.

There’s still a sadness about being here; but it’s not one built on the foundations of anger, rather one built on the foundations of _Aaron_  and  _love_  and _belonging_.

That, and the knowledge that his Mum was never going to meet the man that made his heart whole again.

“I thought you’d like to meet him, Mum. Aaron. He’s - he’s amazing. And so kind and strong. Just like you were.” He says with his hand still placed on the cool stone of the grave, voice trembling as a cool breeze lanced his skin. He means every word of it.

“He’s going to make me so happy Mum, I just know it. And I hope - hope that makes you happy too - wherever you are.”

His mum would have adored Aaron. He was everything she’d have wanted in her son’s partner, Robert is sure of it.

“You’d be laughing if you knew the story - how we met, how we made a mess of things and how we found our week back to each other - all in a week.” It was getting hard to talk now, and Robert has to stop to take a few deep breaths. “But I’ll save that for another day.”

He steps back then, after running his fingers over the inscription of her name once more. He felt his heart give a little, skin feeling taut across his chest, too tight to breathe properly, until Aaron slips his hand back where it belongs; in Robert’s own.

The sun breaks through the light clouds that have been littering the sky then, it shines directly down onto them. The beams glow down with intent, singling out Sarah’s headstone from all the rest and makes Robert's mouth hang open a little, quirk up at the sides and smile.

 

 

 

 _He’s going to take it as a sign of his Mum’s approval,_ and he tells Aaron so with a kiss to his cheek.

 

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

They don’t talk much during the short journey from the graveyard to Emmerdale, which should probably feel odd to Robert, but really it feels nothing but comfortable. They’re content to just be in each other’s presence without having to fill the silence with chatter.

(It’s unusual for Robert, because he’s always been a person too loud for his own good. He’s always felt the need to fill every second with something, sweet talk or relentless moaning.)

By the time he pulls up in front of the pub, Aaron’s hand has joined Robert’s where it’s resting on top of the gearstick.

“I’m sorry about my mum. And Paddy, although he’ll probably just stare at you for a while, and then embarrass himself,” Aaron says as Robert shuts the engine off, unmistakable nerves bubbling under the surface.

“I haven’t even met them yet, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Robert says, laughter erupting at Aaron’s dramatics. 

“Ah, you really don’t know my family.”

“And you just stood with me whilst I introduced you to a gravestone, how bad can it possibly be?” Robert’s saying next, and although he’s joking through it, Aaron can hear the barely concealed pain there.

He reaches over and takes Robert’s other hand then, extracts his finger from their tight grip on the steering wheel and places their intertwined hands on his own knee. A comfort for the both of them.

“Honestly mate, you’re in for the shock of your life, there are literally hundreds of them,” Aaron exaggerates.

“Not your mate,” is Robert’s only response.

“No? What are you then?” Aaron asks, voice teasing.

“I’m your - your...” Robert stumbles out, eyes wild.

“My?”

 _Boyfriend_ is what Aaron thinks; _what he hopes._ “My - I don’t know.” Is what he hears instead.

“Wow. Hi Mum, this is Robert, he’s my I Don’t Know.”

“And you’re a bloody idiot, is what you are.”

“Charming.” Aaron rolls his eyes.

“How do you want to do this, then?” Robert replies reflexively, steering the conversation back into guarded territory, it seems.

“I’ll go in first, explain things, you can wait by the door, and then I’ll come grab you, yeah?”

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“God, I’ve missed you so much, love.” Chas says, squeezing at Aaron’s cheeks, and he just knows that Robert would never let him live this down if he could see. 

“I’ve been gone just over a week, Mum.”

“I know, I know, but you’re my baby.” God, Aaron thinks, it’s as if she can sense Robert is standing on the other side of the door. She’s in full embarrassing-mum mode today and suddenly Aaron wants the ground to swallow him _, or Robert,_ whole.

“Uh - Mum,” Aaron says, an attempt to shut her up. “I’ve actually - brought someone with me, someone I want you both to meet.”

“What like - _a boy?”_ Paddy questions in an almost whisper, as if it’s the most shocking thing he’s ever heard.

Aaron nods.

“Aaron Dingle! You’ve got boyfriend and this is the first we’re hearing of it?” Chas scratches, sounding incredulous. “I want details, now!”

“It’s new Mum,  _really new_ ,” Aaron rolled his eyes. “And we haven’t exactly had the  _boyfriends_  chat yet. So don’t go throwing it around in front of him, and scaring him off, please?”

“Wow, you really like him, don’t you?” And yeah, she always has been able to read Aaron like a book.

“Yeah, I do.” Aaron says, the smile that involuntary spreads across his face just cracks at his chapped lips.

“That’s great Aaron, I’m really pleased for you” Paddy offered, smile genuine and straight to the point.

Unlike his Mum.

“How did you meet him?” Is Chas’ next question.

No way in hell his Aaron telling his Mum he met Robert on a dating site. “Just in London,” Aaron offered, figuring he could embellish a little. “Look we’ll talk about that later, he’s - _Robert_ \- is waiting just outside.” 

Chas can barely conceal her excitement. “Well don’t just leave him out there, Aaron! Bring him in.”

“Alright - alright, just act normal, if you’re capable,” Aaron says, eyebrows raised in warning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Right so, this is Robert,” Aaron introduces, Robert standing beside him. “Robert, this is my mum and Paddy.”

“It’s great to meet you both, Aaron talks about you a lot.” Robert says, the charming businessman in him coming to the surface.

“Likewise, love. Forgive us for not being more prepared, Aaron here has only just made us aware of your existence.”

Robert stretches his arm and holds a hand out to the both of them, to which they shake enthusiastically. (Paddy a little too enthusiastically, perhaps.)

And the tightness in Aaron’s chest dissipates from one inhale to the next.

“Well, we’ve done the awkward introductions, so we’re going to go now.” Aaron decided for them both, tugging on Robert’s sleeve.

“Hey, he’s only just got here. I want to ask him some questions, make sure he’s fit to be dating our son.” Paddy says, surprisingly not tripping over his words. If you didn’t know him, you’d probably believe the stern-protective-Dad routine he was trying to pull off.

But Aaron  _does_  know him. “Paddy, no-ones buying into this hard-man act.”

“Oi - I’m with Paddy on this one. We’ve only just met the lad. At least let me offer him a brew.”

“Honestly I’m fine, me and Aaron grabbed a coffee on the way down.” Robert says, saving the both of them. And yeah, he’s Aaron’s hero. “Thank you anyway.”

“Since when do you drink coffee?” Chas is saying, exposing Aaron once again.

“Since I met someone who knows how to make real coffee. Not that cheap muck you drink each morning.” Is Aaron’s retort. “We’re going upstairs,  **now.** ”

“Fine. Fine. Go have your wicked way with him.” God, his Mum really is the worst, Aaron thinks. “But we’re having a bit of a do here later, for Charity’s birthday, and I expect to see you here. Robert too.”

“We’ll be there, Chas.” Robert grins, the smug bastard all too delighted to agree without a seconds hesitation.

 

 

 

~~~ 

 

 

 

As soon as they’re up in Aaron’s room Robert places one hand across the span of his back, hot and heavy, and brings them both to their feet.

Aaron smiles at him, before: "now the awkward introduction are done, can we go back to the kissing?"  
  
He doesn't even wait for an answer, just surges in, connecting their lips once more. He bites on Robert's lower lip, relishing in the way he moans, loud, in the silence of the upstairs. Robert’s hand's grip at his hair, and he tugs, once,  _twice_ , enough that it has all the blood in Aaron's body rushing South.

Robert’s too, if his relentless movements are anything to go by.   
  
Aaron wants to be closer. No, he needs to be closer.  
  
He uses his arms to grab at Robert’s waist, pulls and pushes until he’s got him against the wall. Robert’s left leg comes up and around Aaron to encircle his waist, foot hitting against his arse, and then he's breaking off the kiss to laugh.  
  
"Really?" Aaron says, smiling stretching his lips.  
  
"Maybe we should move this to the bed?” Robert offers.  
  
"I like it here," Aaron says, surprising himself. "Kiss me, come on."  
  
And so Robert does. He pushes Aaron into the wall this time, and seals their lips together, sucking and biting.

Robert’s body ripples like a wave under Aaron’s heat; unbridled and absolutely stunning. He gasps a sound that seems torn out of his throat, the hand that’s found its way to Aaron’s shoulder stills, tightens until Aaron feels nails digging into his skin.

The kiss only intensifies then.   
  
To Aaron, kissing Robert is the swooping sensation in your stomach, right before the drop of a roller coaster. It's being on top of the Ferris wheel and looking down to the ground. It's that moment when the plane first lifts off the airport runway, tilted upwards, on its way to the sky.

He feels every place their bodies touch like a brand. He feels every single quick breath that Robert takes, as if it the air was traveling through both their chests. He feels - he feels Robert tremble and shake and all but break himself open when Aaron finally gets a hand on his belt buckle.

He kisses Robert’s neck, so softly he can just barely feel the pulse thudding underneath his lips; kisses his collarbone, his cheeks, and the dark pink bow of his lips.

“I love you,” Aaron says against Robert’s neck; the only thing that seems to want to come off his tongue, and blindly navigates his free hand into Robert’s hair.

“I love you too, but if you don’t get on with it, Aaron - I won’t be held responsible for my actions.”

 

 

 

And with that, Aaron sinks to his knees.

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

When they finally make it down to the party, his Mum and Paddy and on the karaoke already.  _I’m going to need more than a few drinks to get through this night,_  Aaron thinks. 

“Ah! Here they are, the happy couple,” Chas gushes through the tinny speakers, alerting the rest of the pub to their entrance.

Aware of the eyes on him, Aaron ducks his head and mutters an apology in Robert’s ear.

“No worries, I could get used to this level of attention,” Robert replies, and Aaron can practically see his ego inflating in the room.

 _Idiot,_  he thinks fondly.

It doesn’t take long for the attention of the party to be diverted elsewhere. That’s the best thing about Dingle parties, Aaron decides, the attention will never be on one person for too long - there’s always someone doing something stupid - somewhere.

This time, it happens to be Sam. He’s got the remnants of Marlon’s famous trifle covering his face and Aaron has no idea how he’ll explain this one to Robert.

“That’s Sammy,” Aaron says as he turns to Robert, as if that should explain all. “He’s always getting himself in these situations. Only last week he was caught streaking through the fields with his fiancé. It’s safe to say the group on community service got an eyeful.”

And Aaron can’t blame the wild look in Robert’s eyes.

They’re interrupted by Faith then, who’s had a lot of - no,  _too much_ \- champagne. She’s squeezing at Aaron’s cheeks, just like his Mum does, and banging on about how proud she is of him.

“You’re proud of me for what exactly? For banging myself a fella?”

“Not just any fella, Aaron, only the most attractive man I have ever laid eyes on.” And yeah Aaron wants to ground to swallow him whole.

But she doesn’t stop there, does she? “God, if I was 20 years younger..” She leaves hanging.

“Try 50.” Robert ducks his head, and lays his chin on Aaron’s shoulder, giggles tumbling out of his mouth.

“You cheeky thing. I like it.” Is Faith’s  _cool as ever_  response.

She elbows Aaron in the side then, making a spray of the champagne he’s holding dust his jumper.

“You know where to find me if you ever get bored of this grumpy git, Robert.” And with that, she’s off, but not before throwing a wink over her shoulder.

He turns to face Robert, to praise him for dealing with Faith, but he doesn’t get the chance before two pairs of Dingle hands are dragging him away. His uncle Zac and Cain.

_And yeah, this time he really will need to apologies._

He doesn’t see Robert for a good hour after, he knows he’s around because Kerry and Amy both giggle and blush whenever Robert’s within 3 meters of them. While Sarah and April attack him with questions. He answers them all animatedly, from  _"What's your favourite colour?"_ to  _"How do you manage to make Grumpy Aaron smile?"_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they find each other again, Robert’s got a pint in his hand and a wobble in his step.

He also has stars in his eyes when he looks up at Aaron. “How does it make you feel, knowing your Aunt fancies your boyfriend, hm?” Is Robert’s greeting line - the cocky bastard.

“I’m your  _boyfriend_ , am I?”

“Well, according to your whole family, I am,” Robert explains.

“Boyfriend?” Aaron tries out.

“Hm. How does that sound?”

“Alright. _I suppose._ ” Aaron teases, unable to contain his bashing smile.

“I wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend.” Robert says, voice dripping in honesty.

“I wouldn’t mind being yours, either.  _Boyfriend.” Aaron repeats dutifully._

_Robert’s answering giggle is like a shot of concentrated warmth right into Aaron’s veins._

_“Aaron Dingle, my boyfriend,” Robert says again, much quieter, and Aaron marvels at how soft his voice is._

_Boyfriend._ God, what a juvenile word, and yet it makes Aaron’s skin buzz each time he thinks about it.

“Anyway she’s not my Aunt, she’s - she’s just Charity. Although it’s my gran I’d be more worried about, she hasn’t taken her eyes off you all night.”

“You’re not jealous, are you,  _boyfriend_?” Robert replies boldly, taking a sip of his pint and licking the foam from his top lip before placing it back on the bar. The sight is enough to leave Aaron feeling hot under the collar.

“Pff, course not, they’ll be over you by next week.”

“Please,” Robert grins. “They love me.”

He’s right, of course. His family absolutely adore him, whether that’s just because he’s Aaron’s boyfriend or because he’s Robert: businessman and entrepreneur, Aaron hasn’t quite worked out yet.

“God knows why,” Aaron says softly, teasing.

“Twat,” Robert whispers, sweet as ever.

“Your twat, though,” Aaron whispers, soft enough that it’s just for the two of them. And it’s enough to have Robert kissing Aaron - right here, in front of his whole damn family. But Aaron doesn’t do a thing to break them up, instead, he runs a hand up through Robert’s styled hair, asking for more.

It doesn’t take long for Aaron lose himself in the moment; in Robert. Until: “Oi, lovebirds!” somebody shouts from the back door, somebody that sounds suspiciously like Charity, “you’re kind of stealing all my attention here.”

 _Yeah, definitely Charity,_ Aaron thinks.

With his heart pounding a bruise against his chest, Aaron leans in for another kiss. Birthday girl be damned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They find themselves stood outside next, Aaron had wanted to introduce Robert to Grace, her garden bustling with _life and love_  in the summer months.

But in this moment, it was just the two of them; Aaron finding comfort in the beat of Robert’s heart.

It’s windy out here, a chilly little breeze that worms its way under the sleeves of Aaron’s jumper. The sun is long gone now, dipping lower below the horizon and pulling all the colours out of the sky, leaving shades of blues and oranges behind.

"I'm sorry about tonight,” Aaron says, disturbing their peace, as he gently nuzzles his nose against Robert's shoulder before kissing the skin of his neck.

“What you saying sorry for?”

“Well you know, we’ve only known each other a week and you’ve already had to suffer a dreadful Dingle party. Not to mention my Mum and Charity practically holding you ransom for a game of 21 question.” Aaron despairs. “And God, my Gran!”

“Hm, she’s a special one,” Robert ponders.

"Careful, or you'll make me jealous," Aaron teases, watches the curve of Robert's back fold in the moonlight as a places he’s empty glass on one of the outdoor tables.

“She’s a nightmare.” Aaron thinks, says aloud too.

“Must run in the family, hey?” Robert jokes.

Only that interrupts something inside of Aaron, he bites on his bottom lip, worries the skin for a second and it’s as if he takes Robert jokes literally.  _He does._

“Aaron, I’m joking, you idiot.” His voice is soft; as fond as ever. But there’s worry laced somewhere underneath.

“You didn’t sign up for any of this though, did you?” Aaron says and Robert looks back up at him, eyes searching.

“Maybe not, but I did sign up for your mouth on mine, so you better do something about that.”

 

_And who is Aaron to deny Robert?_

 

Aaron leans up on his toes and expects their lips to crash together, a hard, bruising kiss, the desperate kind that would have their teeth clacking together, but it never happens. Robert cups a hand around the side of his face, feather-light, and then presses his mouth to Aaron’s so gently it makes his knees weak.

_Kissing Robert is several shades better than gorgeous skies above them._

He wants to tell Robert all this. Wants to write it out in a novel and publish it for the world to read. But he’s Aaron Dingle and he has to remind himself he doesn’t do  _soppy. (But Aaron reckons this couldn’t get_ _any soppier, not even in a romance paperback.)_

So instead he does what he knows best, and fits his tongue into Robert’s with one swift swoop.

This kiss is wonderful, and dizzying, and completely disorienting; everything short of delicate. The perfect amount of lips and teeth and tongue, their lips slotting together like they were made for each other, carved from the same stone, two pieces of a life-changing puzzle.

All of Aaron’s senses are focused on Robert, on hearing the little noises he makes and tasting the mint on his tongue that his chewing gum left behind. He touches every bit of Robert’s body that’s within reach, just because he can now. There are no doubts, no first times – they love each other.

It’s as simple as that.

Robert mumbles something against his lips then, something that sounds suspiciously like  _“I love you so much.”_

Aaron attempts to repeat Robert’s words but his reply gets swallowed up by the swoop of Robert’s tongue.

He pushed lightly at Robert’s chest, extracting their lips from each other, because suddenly, Aaron has a lot he wants to say.

“I’ve never had this with anyone before, Rob. I didn’t think I deseved to be happy, you know? I don’t think I even knew how,” Aaron admits, heart on his sleeve. “But with you, I am happy. So happy. And for once, I believe in it - happiness.”

“I’m glad,” Robert replies, offering a watery smile. “You deserve to be so happy, Aaron.”

“Are you? Happy I mean?” Aaron asks as he loops his arm back around Robert’s middle, pulling their chests flush against each other.

“Do you even need to ask?” Is Robert’s reply,  _and probably not_ , if the bashful grin and tears in his eyes are anything to go by. “Thank you, Aaron.”

Aaron makes a confused little noise. “What for?”

“Everything,” Robert replies, a little hushed. “For making me feel like I belong, like - like I’m loved.” And Aaron knows why he’s stopped there - because he’s getting choked up. “It’s just - you’ve - you’re - everything, Aaron.  _Everything._ ”

It’s all Aaron can do to lean and smack a kiss to Robert’s cheek, swallowing around the lump in his own throat. But of course, a peck to the cheek isn’t quite enough for Robert, he turns his head to the side, captures Aaron cheek in his left hand and angles their faces together.

“You’re so loved, Mr Sugden.”

They meet gently, kiss lazily like they’ve got all the time in the world. It feels like they do, right now, like they’re out of time and space.

He pulls away with a cackle. He wipes his at his eyes, which are apparently wet with tears, much like the eyes reflecting back at him. And just like that, Robert’s brilliant smile is the only remnant of the conversation they just had.

Well, that, and the star that seems to be in the process of exploding right in the centre of Aaron’s chest.

 

 

 

 

 

 _This is forever,_  Aaron thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as ever, thank you so so much for reading! comments and constructive criticism are always welcome - i hope this wasn't too terrible for a first shot. 
> 
> i adore u all. find me on tumblr @dingletragedy x

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this wasn't too terrible! i've already wrote the majority of the second chapter, so if anyone likes this i'll be posting it soon(ish)
> 
> dingletragedy on tumblr x


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